Random Memories 7

Music

As a child, I was not much into music, in terms of playing an instrument. But in my teenage years, my mum always wanted me to learn to play the organ or the piano. When we came to SL once, she made me learn to play the organ and a middle aged man use to come home every week and teach me chords and songs.

He said I had talent and caught on very fast. My mum made him teach me some of the songs she liked. They were all Sinhala songs btw and I used to play them for her.

I enjoyed it too. I loved it. Every evening I would play the songs loud and my neighbours used to enjoy listening to them too.

One neighbor uncle would come to his balcony and listen to me play and then his wife would join him.

Another neighbor would listen from their garden.

Another neighbor would listen from their balcony etc..

I used to like Ganga Addara and I really can’t remember the other songs I used to play.

The organ is still there.

Later, I just grew out of it. I have not played the organ for a really long time and I don’t even remember how to play anymore…

For some reason,  I can’t even get myself to play it again… or even learn to..

Then I wanted to learn to play the guitar. Got one from my dad, which was one of the last things he ever bought me. I could never really do it though. Learnt a bit and then left it. So now my bro has started to learn coz he liked it when I taught him how to play chords etc…

Hopefully he can learn and play for me…. And maybe inspire me and teach me.. :)

Inked

A month ago, I finally gathered up whatever courage I had in me and got myself inked as it’s something I wanted to do for years. Ask LostSoul, he knows.:)

So a friend of mine was also getting a tattoo on his arm and Thrada took us to his spot on a Saturday morning, if I’m not mistaken.

Raindrops would know how nervous I was. Reason being, my mum was against it and I was feeling a little, no, a lot edgy as I had never ever gotten one before.

So after much chatter I finally got it done. Reason why this post is coming out a month later will be mentioned below.

So the tattoo was done by a very talented tattoo artist. I got a tribal phoenix done on my right lower back. Not big. I really wanted to have it at the back of my neck but since I did not want my mum to see it, I got it somewhere that she wouldn’t see it, atleast for a while.

It did hurt a bit. It was a bit of a pain for about a week or so till the skin peeled off and all that… but it was.. oh.. SO totally worth it! The satisfaction of getting one simply cannot be explained in words. One who likes to get one, MUST get one to feel it… and then, it can be addictive too.. ;-)No no, I only have 1 and I shall stick to one.

So, as mentioned earlier, it’s been a month now. I was very careful at home. Sitting properly whenever mum was around, making sure my t-shirts did not reveal my lower back skin whenever I bent and all that. But after a while you tend to forget.

I expected to get caught 6 months down the line and not in 1 month!

Last Saturday I went downstairs to get some biscuits and then dropped them. So when I bent to pick them up, my mum saw the tattoo and she screamed “LD, pachchayak kotagaththada?”  - “ did you get yourself a tattoo?”

My heart literally stopped beating!

I straightened up, and told her it was just a sticker and ran up the stairs.

I then paced up and down my room for 30 mins, trying to gather up all the courage I had as it killed me that I lied to her.

I then walked down the stairs and told her that I had something to tell her. I asked her not to scream at me and to listen to what I’m going to say.

She said ok.

Then I told her that it wasn’t a sticker and that it was an actual tattoo.

She glared at me.

Then asked for details. She was more worried about who did it and whether it was hygienic and all that.

I gave her some of the details to ensure that all was well.

Then she smiled.

Later, she looked sternly at me and said “don’t you dare get another one!”

I said “ok”.

Phew!

That was close. I’m still stunned. She never asked to look at it. She never brought it up again. It was one of those rare cool moments!

But I still remember how I felt when she first saw it. I nearly died.

Then, when I told DQ about it, her heart was beating so fast that I thought she was going to suffer a heart attack before I could finish my story and tell her that all was fine. I could nearly see her heart beating so fast that I thought it would just tear out of her body!

Here’s the pic of the tattoo. In the one I got, the Pheonix is flying upwards as they rise from the ashes. :)

This night...

Warning, sad crappy post ahead :


Listening to the brother practice his guitar lessons...

Nibbling on macaroni...

Sipping apple juice...

Tired after a great zumba work-out...

Craving for chocolate with hazelnut..

Feeling...... like I want to SCREAM.... just get on an empty stage and scream... and listen to my own echo of words.... scream what I feel... and ask myself why I feel all this.... whether it was fair....and wonder why... when this isn't supposed to happen. I cannot be feeling this so much....

I just want to get away from this.... feeling... which traps me at times...  

This & That

Yesterday a friend called to say he has been following something that I do on a regular basis and thanked me immensely for sharing it with him.

What is it you may think?

Well, it's regular temple visits and praying. He has been doing it on a regular basis ever since he heard it from me and tells me he's getting really good results and that it helps him a lot. I'm just glad I was able to change something... in a person's life...:)

It felt good to hear this.

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Last morning, I was in a bit of a crapped up mood and so went to get my hair cut. I had the Victoria Beckham hair-do last year, mentioned here, and absolutely loved it. Eventhough every other human I knew loved it, my mum hated it and used to pull my hair at the back every morning and ask me when it was going to grow back. sigh..

I was SO tempted to get it done again... but for fear of the great mother, I decided to just trim and shorten it a little.. with a nice conditioning treatment which felt good...

Oh, and every time I tell mother that I'm going to get my hair cut, she warns me saying.."don't even think of cutting it too short! not like the disaster you came with last year."


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Why does she keep wanting him so much when he does not want her?

How can she feel so much in so little time?

Why is she ok in one moment and not ok the next?

Why do these emotional landslides upset her so much?

Why is she afraid of what she feels?

Does she have something she wants to say? Does she want to talk it out?

Or does she stop in her tracks every time these thoughts pass by?

Why does she feel all this?

Or maybe it's not the answers that matter... but how to ignore and move away from such feelings... Or would the answers help? She does not know... Perhaps she misses him... alot..



Mark Twain once said " Drag your thoughts away from your troubles... by the ears, by the heels, or any other way you can manage it".

The Kiss

As he leaned against the table, staring at her, all she could do was stare back.

She felt numb in his presence, like the world around her stopped and gave way for her to feel every moment more deeply. She walked towards him, slowly, trembling inside, but loving the feel of each moment.

There was a mix of suspense, care, anxiety, love and a bundle of other emotions and feelings, each fighting against one another trying to see which one stood out more.

She went up to him and slowly asked "So do I get what I want?"

He responded, not in words but in action. He leaned forward and pulled her closer. Every mili-second could be felt passing by like a slow motion movie.

As his lips touched hers, there was a beautiful sense of calmness, a touch of sexiness and a yearning from both that had been waiting to be satisfied.

They kissed with their eyes closed, bodies getting closer, hands running along each other's backs.

The kiss so sensual did not end. She held onto it and he did not stop.

It was like a fantasy come true. He slid his hands underneath her top, feeling her bare skin and running his hands ever so tenderly along her back. She moaned softly while they kissed and wrapped her arms tightly around him, not wanting to let go, wishing deeply that the moment would never end.

She ran her fingers through his hair, wanting to give him all she could. She moaned again slightly expressing how good it felt, while not wanting it to stop....

And then...




Ok, I just had an entire medium slab of chocolate and this just came to mind and I typed it out. I've never written a post like this and just thought I'd let my choco high thoughts come to life for once. :) Just a scribble/dribble post. Not again. I shall stay away from laptops, computers and notebooks the next time I've a sugar rush like this one.

I think I read too much of Danielle Steel's books in my teenage years...

Recent notes to self

-          Traffic lights are not a place to wonder about different aspects of life where you let your mind drift off and momentarily forget where you are until the person behind horns and brings you back to reality.

-          Singing the awesome acoustic version of ‘Do it like a dude’ when at a supermarket checkout counter or in the elevator may not be a cool idea when people around can hear you.  They’ll stare at you when they clearly hear the lyrics of the chorus.

-          When mummy says, “Wake up early I need you to channel a few doctors for me online for my checkups and aches and pains” it actually means, wake up at 6am or I’ll not get my appointments as the docs are in high demand. It also means, these docs are very expensive so it will drain the life out of your credit card.

-          The brother has grown so when he says he’s got plans for the weekend, he’s actually doing things that you wanted to do but didn’t. Like starting guitar classes and going for meditation classes. 

-          Do not make the mistake of telling mummy that listening to religious preachings 24/7 and sharing the knowledge with others is not adequate but one must practice it. You’ll either go deaf due to the loud scoldings or the topic will be diverted to something you do not want to hear. 

-          Decide on what you want to do with the money you saved for charity/good deeds. Either give it to the temple that has 55 little monks for daily expenses and food or give it to the orphanage that has mentally handicapped adults who are over 30-40 yrs old but act like 5-10yr olds and call you ‘aunty’. 

-          You can counsel everyone else when they’ve a problem but not yourself. It’s the case with many so don’t try too hard. 

-          People open up to you easily and tell you very personal things and their problems. They just need a sense of relief and they trust you. There’s a limit to which you can help others. So don’t be sad when you can’t do anything much to help.

-          When you got to know through the grapevine that the toughest former client you worked with had called the new workplace and said great things about you to a big boss, it felt good, didn’t it?  Don’t you sometimes wonder who you are and what you actually do?  

The thing about rain...

As I watch the rain pour down…

I yearn to walk out and feel the cold droplets of water fall onto my skin…

Raindrops come with a touch of peace and happiness…

When the droplets of water make you wet, you begin to glow and feel like you’re a part of nature… A part of something beautiful, cold and gloomy but peaceful and nice…

When puddles form and make things messy, one who loves it would learn to tolerate it…

When inconveniences are experienced, one will always find a way around it, for the love of rain, and to hold onto the feeling and experience it gives, for it doesn’t rain all the time, it does pass…

And then the sun comes out, casting away the much needed unpredictable weather and makes you miss the rain, so damn much!

What’s with the weather? Where did the rainclouds go dammit?

The Wicked Brownie

I stopped having drinks and ciggies from last Thursday coz……. well, it doesn’t matter anymore.. But I thought I’ll just go on without them…

So after work last evening, I turned down an invitation for drinks and went and had the wicked brownie with a colleague.

It lives upto its name I must say.

My eyes lit up when I saw the image and I could feel a purple halo forming right over my head coupled with an angelic smile..:) So I ordered it.

It was a massive brownie cut into two, with a scoop of vanilla ice cream and chocolate sauce… and a lump of perfect whip cream with traces of chocolate sauce..

My colleague watched me enjoy it, grinning like an idiot the whole time..

It….. was….. heavenly! And I got the sugar rush I needed and was a chirpy bubbly person for a while…

But I don’t think I can have it again for some time.. I obviously couldn’t even finish it!

But oh, The Wicked Brownie Rocked! It was orgasmic.....and simply....divine...