Good deeds (2)

Remember this post?

Going on from that, my mum is a very social person...talks to anyone and everyone... and she got to know this girl who works at one of the supermarkets we frequently go to and got to know that she's getting married and had no money to buy a wedding saree so was trying to see if she could hire one..


One of my cousin sisters got married for the second time and she wore a gorgeous Kandyan saree... and had told my mum that she could give it to someone deserving after hearing the earlier story...


So we got it yday and went to give it to her (supermarket girl)... You should've seen the happiness and surprise in her eyes and expressions....


She was so excited and asked my mum when it has to be returned. My mum smiled and told her she can keep it... She couldn't keep her happiness and excitement down and that really touched our hearts...


I would say it's her good timing too.. She's the really sweet sort where when you talk to her, you feel like when you want to help her in some way..


So yes, another good deed done and it felt nice.... :-)

Acceptance

Sometimes it's hard to accept some things in life. You may think about it on and off and brush if off your mind, but there will be days where it stays edged onto your mind and keeps rising to surface and that truth in those thoughts, though it's your reality, may actually hurt it strange ways.

Thought that acceptance would help.... would clear it up... but it doesn't really. Gets a bit harder at times... and I'm trying to figure out why these bad days pop up... Are they because of decisions that I take? the wrong kind maybe? Or is it because of how easily I let these thoughts take control and just live by till I see a bright day or hang onto a good moment that comes up? I'm really not sure....

Why these thoughts suddenly you may wonder?

I'm generally not the sort to talk to people about how I feel... because it's hard for me... even when it comes to really close friends. The only time I can actually open up and talk is when I'm drinking and the alcohol calms me and makes me talk. But this isn't healthy coz there are times where I've said more than I should have. But when with close friends, it's actually ok and brings a sense of relief. But that cannot possibly be the only way for me to feel better right? I cannot let that be the only way either....

Had a couple of instances today. Today being a half day, I came home early by 3ish and had time to sleep.... troubled sleep. At the end, I dreamt that I was eating an entire tub of ice cream to feel better...

I had a very difficult conversation with my colleague Thrada today. He didn't know that I lost my dad and I told him so much about it, while trying hard to fight away the tears. You may think that after nearly 7 years it would get better....but it doesn't. It's still just really hard. He has a daughter so he knows what it's like to have the daughter-father bond and love.

Then, I've got my insomnia nights on and off. I realised that these happened after my dad's passing away. Those days I had 3 close guy friends from my batch who would take turns to talk to me till I fell asleep and keep me sane and happy... I really miss that... really do. Now some are married, some have gone abroad and life has changed so much, but not my sleep habits.

Sometimes during nights like that, I just yearn to talk to someone till sleep comes to me.... but then, on and off, there are friends who keep me company but not as often as I like.. Besides, it's my problem and how can I possibly let others break their rest for me.... It's just not fair..

I yearn to forget the world I live in when I'm unhappy and sad.... Many a time, other than during the mornings, I can be a bubbly chirpy person.... but when the sadness sets in, it's just too much to handle....

I tend to get caught to the wrong things.... only because I'm in search of something... something that can act as a distraction... something to keep me temporarily happy....

That loneliness kills me over and over.... Sometimes I think and I wish my life could change in some way.... Accepting the fact about being lonely isn't easy at times..... knowing it and feeling it is just....disastrous!

I used to think I would be better off if my cousin brother was here.... him being so far away also adds to the pain... this state that I live in and fall into on and off....

It sucks to feel this way... really does... and if I counted the amount of tears that rolled down my cheeks as I typed this post, I think I would need a whole bottle.... or a heap of chocolates...

A pleasant chat

During the X'mas week, we were invited to lunch by one of my dad's best friends..... and we went for it..

At that lunch, I had the pleasure of meeting one of my dad's lecturers..... who remembered my dad very well.. and kept talking about him, the things he used to do... and I couldn't help but wish I had the chance to hear all this from my dad himself....

I now know where I get the mischievous/naughty nature/side from... =) My mum was also telling me lots of stories about the things he had done when he was in Uni..... and man, I couldn't stop laughing...

So yea... those conversations re-played in my mind this morning.... and it felt nice...

Have a great weekend Y'all!

It's nice when....

- you're craving for chocolates and someone buys you a chocolate brownie out of the blue and gives it to you..

- DQ buys long yummy bananas and Galaxy chocolates and shares them with me in office..

- you come to that point where you know you're REALLY over something you were struggling to shake off and move on.... and it's not going to haunt you again.. it's an amazing feeling..

- you meet up with people after a long time and have lots of catching up to do...

- you take a risk you've never dreamt of taking in your life.... but not nice when you wonder what the outcome would be..

- you go home after a long day at work to find a really yummy-licious dinner kept just for you..

- you go with a friend to a dentist coz he has a tooth problem, and as you try to remain sane with the boredom that eats you up, a little girl sits next to you and starts talking to you, reads the paper to you and does all sorts of funny sweet girly things....

- you speak to a colleague who's had a bad day... and let them open up to you and you tell them how to go about things... and then hear that person say 'thank you so much.... I didn't have anyone to talk to today...'

- you take part in the baila dancing competition at the office party for fun... and end up winning it!

- you're made to feel appreciated.....for all the work you do.

Giggles..

You know how chocolates and sweets make me sugar high right? Well, aleast you've read about it...

A couple of days ago, I bought 2 packs of cream biscuits, made a little milk, crushed the biscuits and mixed both and ate.... then had a slice of ribbon cake with marzipan from Hilton and I was over the moon...

I was giggling uncontrollably at everything...

I felt good!

Then the big boss walked over to our area and talked to me... I giggled at everything she said...

She gave me a weird look... and continued talking, while I giggled...

Then she asked 'why are you so ticklish today?'

At this point, I decided to tell her I was high on sweets... at this she smiled... and shared with me the love she too has for marzipan....

I'm in the mood to get sugar high again.. Come to think of it, been doing it a lot lately... must cut down.

I think..... ;)

I giggle, giggle and giggle uncontrollably.. and my own giggles make me giggle even more....

Does that sound weird? :D

The return of...

LD... :-) (I had the song Return of the mack running in my head.. sowie..)

First of all, better late than  never, HAPPY NEW YEAR Y'ALL! I hope it'll be a fabulous one for each and everyone of you! :-)

So how has everyone been while I was away? For those of you who really cared and kept bugging me to blog again via texts/mails/comments - thank you so much... and for those of you who kept checking up on me and threatening me to come back, it felt nice.. really. But I really needed to get away and that break really did help  me....

I'm feeling much much better now... and LD is back in full swing... well, sort of I guess.:)

The greatest news that I must share is that the management confirmed me and DQ on the 2nd of Jan... which was just 4.5 months after having worked here in the new place... they said they were really happy and didn't want to wait till the 6 months were over... and that just felt AWESOME! :-)

Life's been good... going on... I will blog on and off whenever time permits.... and I'm sure I'll have stories to tell.. as always..:)

But do fill me in on what I've missed till then! :-)

The question is....

.... to leave or take a break.

I've been contemplating this for a while. Following recent events and how they seem to affect me, in ways I didn't imagine, I've actually been thinking of taking a break first to see if I can do something to help myself out and to clear it up. Matters of the heart and mind that is...

I've come to realise some things... and though some things are a pain, I try to see the goodness involved in them and yet, somehow the goodness or good intentions behind them seem to get drowned for some reason(s). Yes, I know you won't understand this without being savvy to the context in which I write and I'm sorry, I'm not going to mention it.

I'll be around though, reading most of the blogs I usually read. I just won't be writing any posts for a while, till I figure out whether to stop this or keep going. I'm also afraid of attracting or being attracted to things later on that could end up in a negative line again.

It's rather pathetic really, when I see the amount of unpublished sad posts that have been lingering in my posts section which I finally managed to delete. I don't want to write them, yet they're what freely flow these days.

So, until I figure things out or till time makes things easier, I'm going to move away for a while....

I'll dearly miss all of you... really...

Maybe I'll be back, sooner. Who knows...

Just be good, be happy and take care. :)

Luv,
LD.

Random Memories 8

- There was a time where under my father's orders, I had to make tea for everyone in the evening, every single day. At about the age of 9 or so, when we came to SL, I once made tea for everyone. There were some people from my dad's hometown as well. For some reason, the tea didn't turn out great and everyone complained and broke my heart saying it was bad... except my dad, who loved a good cup of plain tea and somehow managed to gulp the entire cup I gave him and never said anything. He's the only one who managed to finish it though it tasted really really bad.

- The first time I tried to make coconut sambol, I wasn't sure of what spices to use. My brother and I got innovative (since mum wasn't at home either) and used just about all the spices we could find. We were pretty young at that time.... and it came out nice I must say. When my mum tried it, she said it was ok... and when she heard about all the spices that went it, she nearly choked laughing.

- When I was young, I was supposed to have been one helluva chatterbox and had a thing for white men & air hosts. My mum used to say that it was a nightmare when we use to fly down to SL for holidays coz from the age of 2 or 3 onwards, I apparently had a way of wondering around in the plane and finding my way to strange white men and start jabbering in English. Whatever English I knew that is. One guy had been so impressed and had liked me so much that he had taken photos of me with air hosts and all and had taken our postal address and actually sent them!

- Somewhere around the age of 7ish maybe, I had been in the car with my family and a few family friends when I read the sign "To let" with a number and this was hanging from a building balcony. I had loudly asked my mum why people put up phone numbers of toilets like that. Everyone laughed so much and later my mum explained that it was 'to let' and also explained what it meant. I wanted to die at that moment for not reading it properly.

- At one point, I made a huge protest at home and cried coz I didn't like my name and wanted to change it to an English name. My parents laughed and asked me what my pick was and that I would have to wait till I'm 18 to do that. I can't remember what I picked and I would've been about 8 yrs old at that time.

- The first time I obtained sil was with my grandmother and brother. It was a nice experience. I was schooling at that time and I still remember my brother kept having trouble with his sweet white sarong that I had to fix it for him on countless occassions. I've only obtained sil about 3 or 4 times in my life, which is kinda sad... but atleast there's a start. Now it's a matter of continuing it somehow.

- When my brother was about 2-3 yrs in age, he always wanted what I had. So whenever I had pigtails or a funny looking fountain tail on top, he wanted one too. So my mum would somehow manage to tie a bit of his hair and there are a few photographs where the two of us are with fountain looking hair tied on our heads.

A touching song.....

Just came across this..... and couldn't stop tearing when I heard it...

I really really really miss him.... it just gets harder at times...

Sweet Surprise

I’ve mentioned that I got a tough client who’s had a not so great relationship with the agency and I along with DQ were asked to change that. That was our challenge. I've mentioned it here.

We worked on a big campaign for them, for which I voiced the radio commercial, and for this I’m being bugged big time…. And they loved it, the client that is.

While being lost in a busy day of work, when I felt like I was falling into a shitty mood, it suddenly brightened.

For the first time ever, the client sent a cake from Hilton addressing it to me and my team.

I couldn’t believe it at first, so was seated trying to figure it out… and then went out to meet the client who physically made an effort to come and deliver the cake to me with a lovely note.

I can’t believe it. I didn’t think I made such a difference along with my team ofcourse. It just felt awesome…. I never thought things would turn around so soon either…

Bosses are pleased and impressed and are congratulating me… the team ensured that the cake was finished within a time span on 3 mins of having cut it into pieces…

I’m told one boss is highly jealous coz it was addressed to me….. :-)

I’m reminded that good things happen…. And hard work pays off….

I’m happy for the moment…. And feeling appreciated.

Oh what a feeling! 

I’ve received cake before, but facing a challenge like this one and getting one so fast, is a first.