One day long long ago, when I was really really bored at home and feeling restless, I decided to let everyone at home know how I felt. I must've been about 13 yrs of age at that time. It was late at night and my dad then decided to take his favourite girl for a nice long drive,coz he was bored too.
If I remember right, I think my brother joined too. It was a nice long drive with bright city lights and clear roads. Sitting next to him in silence, cruising along felt so good. It felt safe, beautiful and carefree. It felt like I had a hero in my life who would always be there for me and every problem felt like it was nothing. It felt calming and re-assuring. How I wish I could re-live those precious moments again, to feel the warmth, love, calmness and security....
I sometimes wonder how much my mum must be missing him. Every time she dreams about him, she says it's always linked to me and happy dreams keep her smiling throughout the day.
If I had one wish, I would wish that she could have him again more than me coz in his absence, she has done more for me than anyone else and she deserves it.
I only know the pain of losing my father. I do not know the pain of losing a husband with all responsibilities falling onto me.
I do not know the pain she feels with every tear that falls from her eyes.
I do not know the fear she lives with day in and day out.
I do not know the loneliness she feels or the emptiness inside her.
I do not know how much she misses the love and care of her husband.
I just wish that in lives to come, she should never have to go through pain and loss again coz I don't think she deserves it.
May her sins perish and her merits multiply. This is the most sincere and heartfelt wish her daughter has for her.
This is my wish when I pray for her.
If I remember right, I think my brother joined too. It was a nice long drive with bright city lights and clear roads. Sitting next to him in silence, cruising along felt so good. It felt safe, beautiful and carefree. It felt like I had a hero in my life who would always be there for me and every problem felt like it was nothing. It felt calming and re-assuring. How I wish I could re-live those precious moments again, to feel the warmth, love, calmness and security....
I sometimes wonder how much my mum must be missing him. Every time she dreams about him, she says it's always linked to me and happy dreams keep her smiling throughout the day.
If I had one wish, I would wish that she could have him again more than me coz in his absence, she has done more for me than anyone else and she deserves it.
I only know the pain of losing my father. I do not know the pain of losing a husband with all responsibilities falling onto me.
I do not know the pain she feels with every tear that falls from her eyes.
I do not know the fear she lives with day in and day out.
I do not know the loneliness she feels or the emptiness inside her.
I do not know how much she misses the love and care of her husband.
I just wish that in lives to come, she should never have to go through pain and loss again coz I don't think she deserves it.
May her sins perish and her merits multiply. This is the most sincere and heartfelt wish her daughter has for her.
This is my wish when I pray for her.
how heartbreakingly true and your wish for her is beautiful. here's wishing the same for her too.
ReplyDeleteI know exactly what you are feeling :( I cannot even begin to understand what my mother goes through day in and day out. I just know that she has always tried her best to be there for my sister and I - I am sure that your mother is the same.
ReplyDeleteI hope that your wish for your mom comes through. Hugs.
Beautiful thoughts LD absolutely genuine and beautiful your dad is lucky to have a daughter like you. Cant help but hope that the relationship with my daughters would as lovely. tc
ReplyDeleteHugs! i will let you know a similar story... Here is some rain to freshen you up!
ReplyDeleteI was running to a meeting when i wrote the initial comment and could not stop thinking about this the whole time.
ReplyDeleteI have written something VERY similar to this (you know my story ne) but, will never be published in a blog as it’s too personal. I just wanted to say that I know how you feel and I am glad you look at the this the way you do. That shows a lot of character and courage. I hope you will find peace with your mind and will be at a serene place with tranquility in your life.Soon.
That’s my wish for you!