On a note

On a musical note:

My mum has a loud and high-pitch voice. She loves old music, like the ones sung by Angaline G, Latha W, Neela W etc etc....

She sings sometimes while cooking, listening to the radio or a cd, while doing household work etc... When she sings from downstairs, it can be heard all the way upstairs.. and the pitch can actually be deafening sometimes.

It's sweet really, and she's actually not bad in her singing... just that when some songs are sung on constant repeat and when it gets louder and louder, I can't help but wish the earplugs I wore for swimming hadn't expired and didn't have to be thrown away.

She has been singing a lot lately. Like EVERY single day.... morning and night... including noon on weekends...

She sings when she's happy, so I wouldn't want it to stop... 
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On a fairness note:

My mum has way too much free time on her hands. I tried to encourage her to join a NGO or charity organisation and help out. Her excuse is that she falls sick often and wouldn't be able to commit to something like that. But she does do all her good deeds somehow, and lately it's been saving many cows from being slaughtered and serving food at the Cancer hospital to the patients and buying them medication that she can afford etc..

She also manages to do a heap of other things. Like try out different brands of ayurvedic beauty products, check out shopping places, babysit the neighhbours kids with delight etc..

My mum and I have had constant debates on fairness creams and the colour of my skin. So I'm dark and she's fair. What can I do if I didn't get her complexion... and she needs to accept the fact that I'm totally fine with mine!

A few days ago, she had bought a heap of ayurvedic creams from some place and when I went to the pantry to check what was there for dinner, she started telling me about them. She was very excited that she found the perfect cream for me, for the marks I've started to get on my face and neck.

I initially thought it was a result of the chocolate overdose I had but it wasn't as I stopped, so it must be something else.

Anyhoo, she gave me the cream and told me to use it once a day and went on and on about it. I generally get a lot of stuff from her but hardly use them and she ends up using them..

So before accepting it, I read the label and asked her if it was a fairness cream in a stern voice.

She said 'no no... it's not a fairness cream, it just takes away the marks'

I said in an irritated voice 'then why does it say Fairness Cream in font size 16 on the front'?

She looked puzzled and said ' oh really? show me..'

Then she took a moment to think and said 'but why don't you try it anyway and see? It might be good'

I couldn't help smiling. She hadn't planned her tactic properly in this case! :-)
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On a hip note:


I've super broad hips.. something passed onto me by my grandma. I wish I had her hair instead of her hips, but what can one do about genetic disorders eh?

There are times when my mum says that she wishes she could just slice my hips off and then she would pinch me. Later she says, the only good thing is it looks good in saree and high heels.

So the last time she did it, I just turned around and said " Oh Ammie, you're just jealous that I've hips and you don't.... "

She said that there's no way in hell she was jealous about it.

Then a little while later, she came around and asked "So does it look funny that I don't have hips?"

She's the figure conscious and health conscious type you see. So I told her I was only bugging and not having broads hips isn't a bad thing at all.

I couldn't help smiling!!! :-)

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On a realisation note:

The silence that surrounds me is overwhelming sometimes.

Listening to my own thoughts, to the echo of my own words and feeling the sadness materialise kills me over and over..

But in the midst of it all, there is one thing that I've realised, the fact that I do not regret even for a moment having taken such a risk and having to go through all this, knowing who I'm and how emotionally vulnerable I'm... I do not regret. Every little thing that happened stays edged onto me as if I were emitting and generating a magnetic field of energy.

That realisation gives me a tinge of peace. We all have our weaknesses, our fears and doubts and so much more. Who I got to know was a lovely human being through whom I saw bits and pieces of myself too, someone who knew how to make me smile and someone who had a lot of human qualities and sensitivities in him. Someone who deserves a lot and what I saw was a klutzy yet nice human being.

I do wish, many a time, and think how much I would give in to have a chance with this - whether it works out or not, for one will never know what the outcome could be, what changes could be experienced,

I never thought I'll ever be in a situation where I would emotionally fall for something like this.

Who is he and why did he cross my path?

Why am I feeling all this and let it trouble me so much?

Perhaps I'll know someday... or I won't..


Now I'm off to listen to Jimmy Cliff's "I can see clearly now".. a happy song I need to hear.




Have a great week all of you! :-)