Distorted thoughts

Day before y-day we went to my cousin’s place to say our goodbyes and to give him some stuff to take with him. My mum as always advised him on the same old stuff which started with health & fitness. She will never stop, just goes on like a broken record. In fact my cousin said he prepared himself for it.:) but preparation is ever enough for the real thing..;-) oh, our mums. Irritatingly sweet.

One thing I felt there was harmony and fun. In the neighbouring area, there are some relations residing and they all have kids. So altogether with my cousin, there are 5. They’re always together. Different ages, like from 28 to 10. But it’s so much fun. They’re lively, bugging eachother all the time. They fight, make fun of each other, do crazy things…. Ever since my cousin lost his mum, everyone got very close and the 5 keep each other company.

Made me realize how much I miss that life. When I was young it used to be that way. Not really with a lot of kids, but with family. My dad was a fun character. He and I used to bug my mum and others so much till we all died laughing. Then my grandparents were highly buggable too. My mum isn’t so much like that, but once she gets into the mood, there’s no stopping her, esp when she’s with her friends.

We used to play with our neighbours a lot. I played cricket every evening, can you believe that? :D

One good thing about my dad’s family is that most of them are blessed with an amazing sense of humour.

Now, home life is so different. Grandparents are no more.  Mum doesn’t really bug. Then again, she was usually the bugged target. My brother has just grown and he’s very silent. So I bug him when I’m in the mood.  I miss walking into a place where things used to be lively.  It only changes when our uncles visit.

Someday I wish I could be a part of a family with lively, fun and crazy people. Someday, a long way from now that is. So that the real me, can re-appear.

There was something I once told my mum some time ago  which seems to have hit her a lot and she repeated it to my cousin and uncle at the earlier mentioned visit. She said that I once told her that I prefer a job that takes up all my time and makes me work late, as it keeps me occupied coz I don’t have anything else to do. Also coz it would keep my mind occupied and away from a lot of things. I think it made her feel helpless. But this is what I want and what helps me. I hope she understands that the way I meant it.