She and he

She came to know him in a sudden way, like in a way nature suddenly decides to do strange things to people. He knew a lot about her, from a habit/hobby that she has. He sent her a mail telling her his story in a nutshell, to prove a point, that life goes on and everything happens for a reason… that perspective and the way we accept things matter…. Etc…

She appreciated it…. Then it led to small talk… It led on and on… She felt things she hadn’t felt in years. Things she once told herself that she will not feel again, not until she is ready someday. She promised herself that she will block her emotions.. and not let them take over like they’ve in the past. 

But life taught her otherwise. Sometimes, one cannot control one’s emotions. They just happen and take their own course. There are times when one can and one cannot control such emotions. 

She decided to risk it, risk her feelings and take it, whatever the outcome is…

Why did she want to risk it one might ask?

She liked the way she felt with him… he made her smile, a lot. She did not know much about him as he intentionally did not open up to her… but something made her fall hard..  There were differences, and that’s one thing she liked. There were good differences too. Differences that made her want to change, to adapt. This is not something one easily feels. 

He did things to hurt her sometimes, or rather sadden her.. but she accepted it, though it was highly immature to do things like that instead of facing it and saying things straight. But she took it.

He warned her from the beginning and it was no fault of his. Yet, she insisted to let it flow and see how it goes. 

She asked him, so what happens now?  He said, lets be friends. 

She respects his decision.

She risked it. She took the fall. 

It felt awfully familiar. Not as bad as earlier, but she knows the feeling. The feeling she once fought to keep away. But this time, it shouldn’t be too difficult. Perhaps a little time and distraction should help.

Something told her that disappointments and sadness are like 2 best friends who refuse to leave her side at times. Happiness is like the magic trick that requires a magic spell for a long lasting effect. She will strive to prove it wrong.  She has grown, she can outlive those 2 elements mentioned above.  She will try, till she does and move on.  One can’t always have what one wishes for after all. Not every wish comes true.  Some for good, and some for reasons we may or may not know.

She will survive.  She will move on….. again.