Oh my....GOD!
I've written over 500 posts!!! and I just noticed it..
God heavens! I've got blog-o-ritis! Which means, I can't be away from it.. and it's a big part of my life..
Thank you to all my readers, for making my experience a better one.:)
Wednesday, June 30, 2010
Loneliness
I'm in a poetic mood..... perhaps it's coz I'm really sick, can barely talk and stuck at home.... and that's why I'm writing...
Like the butterfly that gets caught to the spider web,
The fish that swims in the deep blue sea,
The bird that flies in the infinite sky,
And the hamster that is stuck is a small sweet cage.
Like the moon that shines alone in the dark night sky,
The dog next door, forever trapped in his kennel,
The neighborhood cat, that walks alone at night,
And the snake that slithers in the fields all day.
Like the nightmares we see on troubled nights,
Loneliness is like a ghost that haunts us at all times,
Once it attaches itself, it seldom lets go,
And your surrounding then turns into a dark dimension of misery.
You may or may not know the reason for it,
The hardest part would be changing what you feel,
Bright lights, candy bars and drinks don’t always help,
If only there was a spell, to make it all go away…
pic from here
Like the butterfly that gets caught to the spider web,
The fish that swims in the deep blue sea,
The bird that flies in the infinite sky,
And the hamster that is stuck is a small sweet cage.
Like the moon that shines alone in the dark night sky,
The dog next door, forever trapped in his kennel,
The neighborhood cat, that walks alone at night,
And the snake that slithers in the fields all day.
Like the nightmares we see on troubled nights,
Loneliness is like a ghost that haunts us at all times,
Once it attaches itself, it seldom lets go,
And your surrounding then turns into a dark dimension of misery.
You may or may not know the reason for it,
The hardest part would be changing what you feel,
Bright lights, candy bars and drinks don’t always help,
If only there was a spell, to make it all go away…
pic from here
Saturday, June 26, 2010
Super power dream
Last night I had one awesome dream...
I was married to a guy who was a God in many ways... I cannot remember his face but he had a body to die for... and he probably was Hercules...
I'll tell you why I think so..
In my dream, I was in a beautiful room with my husband and 3 children. I was just a normal woman.. but my children had super powers...
My two elder children were daughters and the youngest baby was a son. My son had the power of destruction. He could destroy things and create volcanoes and all with his mind power. My eldest daughter had the power of charms. She could make people do whatever she wanted them to do for her. I didn't see what power my second daughter had.
In my dream, I woke up in the middle of the night only to find that my son had set a building on fire and I was trying to ignore the fact that it happened and put him to sleep so his mind would be at rest...
Then we were sleeping and we all woke up in the morning. I got my children ready for breakfast and sent them to the dining room... and was about to have some fun with the hubby. The rest is censored!
Now, I'm wondering where I get these ideas/dreams from coz all I've been doing is watch Dr.House season 3 and be a little religious!
I was married to a guy who was a God in many ways... I cannot remember his face but he had a body to die for... and he probably was Hercules...
I'll tell you why I think so..
In my dream, I was in a beautiful room with my husband and 3 children. I was just a normal woman.. but my children had super powers...
My two elder children were daughters and the youngest baby was a son. My son had the power of destruction. He could destroy things and create volcanoes and all with his mind power. My eldest daughter had the power of charms. She could make people do whatever she wanted them to do for her. I didn't see what power my second daughter had.
In my dream, I woke up in the middle of the night only to find that my son had set a building on fire and I was trying to ignore the fact that it happened and put him to sleep so his mind would be at rest...
Then we were sleeping and we all woke up in the morning. I got my children ready for breakfast and sent them to the dining room... and was about to have some fun with the hubby. The rest is censored!
Now, I'm wondering where I get these ideas/dreams from coz all I've been doing is watch Dr.House season 3 and be a little religious!
Sunday, June 20, 2010
Searching..
I had a dream 2 days ago... I was swimming for a long time.. in deep waters... swimming and swimming in search of something.....
It felt really good.. I could feel the water.. and my body movements in the water...and I kept swimming... and then I woke up.
But I still don't know what I was searching for..
It felt really good.. I could feel the water.. and my body movements in the water...and I kept swimming... and then I woke up.
But I still don't know what I was searching for..
Tuesday, June 15, 2010
Big mistake & a deep thought
Remember how much I've been wanting to get a small tattoo done? Also, remember my mum gave me permission for one?
Well, a friend in office was going to get one of hers extended and I told my mum I was joining her... and this my dear readers was a big mistake I did coz she blasted me like never before and told me to forget about tattoos coz she's trying to get me settled and all I can think of is tattoos! She also went on to say that I've changed and that I need to forget about these things and she also said she will punish me for the rest of my life if I ever get a tattoo done....
Tattoos are apparently only for 'rasthiyadu karayas' and not decent girls!
I told her I'll get a small one done and it'll be around my hip or the back of my neck where it won't be seen... She didn't react very well to this either..
So now, I'm stuck in a 'over my dead body situation' and it ain't pleasant. Somehow, according to her, I'm being influenced by a bad set of friends and she wants me to get my head straight.
So there goes that. I feel like a school child who's being kept in her place by the strict mother who carries a cane around with her waiting to whip me everytime I do something naughty. What the hell man! I'm 26 for crying out loud!
Anyways... I was pretty upset.. but then I realised she's old fashioned and conservative and nothing will change that. I can't make her understand either coz obviously she won't get it... and well, it'll be a waste of my time...
So there goes that.
On a different note:
I just discovered that blogger has some awesome new templates! I'm going to try a few every month.. if time permits that is..:)
Also, last night I had a moment of realisation and something deep to ponder about. I was thinking about my dad... and what it is that I'm really missing in my life right now that I'm trying not to face and leave buried so it wouldn't hurt too much.
I was thinking about how I felt when I had my dad around and how I felt when I had male companionship which came with love, compassion and a strong sense of dependence in a good way.
The bond we create or get with a man, be it a father, brother or boyfriend gives you this strong feeling of being held close all the time and there is a sense of assurance that there is someone strong who will be there for you and watch out for you... someone who is just a call away and ready to catch you when you fall and help you get back on your feet... someone who is there as the stronger force who is able to give you what you need and give you that push you need..
I don't know how to exactly put this into words... it's like that strong invisible hand that keeps your back straight and makes you walk with your head up high... and its someone who is there to embrace you every moment of the way.
I always got this from my father and no one else. It was only when he was gone that I realised this and came to look for it outside in subtle ways.. Then came two guys who I thought would help in some way but both only resulted in me being used and trampled on, that it just broke my soul..
This then resulted in me looking away coz I couldn't bear to try once more...afraid of being hurt again coz that is not what I give myself for... True it makes us stronger, better and wiser people in the longrun.. but the scars never heal completely.
So that's why the empty space still exists... I'm afraid to fill it in anyway... even if opportunity does come... coz the outcome has never been pleasant before... This makes me very sad and feel like I'm stranded all by myself on a little island.. and I'm afraid... yes I'm.
Beauty they say is skin deep - a saying most women love, but not many men take to heart... and neither does my mother.
That was a very difficult post to type.
Well, a friend in office was going to get one of hers extended and I told my mum I was joining her... and this my dear readers was a big mistake I did coz she blasted me like never before and told me to forget about tattoos coz she's trying to get me settled and all I can think of is tattoos! She also went on to say that I've changed and that I need to forget about these things and she also said she will punish me for the rest of my life if I ever get a tattoo done....
Tattoos are apparently only for 'rasthiyadu karayas' and not decent girls!
I told her I'll get a small one done and it'll be around my hip or the back of my neck where it won't be seen... She didn't react very well to this either..
So now, I'm stuck in a 'over my dead body situation' and it ain't pleasant. Somehow, according to her, I'm being influenced by a bad set of friends and she wants me to get my head straight.
So there goes that. I feel like a school child who's being kept in her place by the strict mother who carries a cane around with her waiting to whip me everytime I do something naughty. What the hell man! I'm 26 for crying out loud!
Anyways... I was pretty upset.. but then I realised she's old fashioned and conservative and nothing will change that. I can't make her understand either coz obviously she won't get it... and well, it'll be a waste of my time...
So there goes that.
On a different note:
I just discovered that blogger has some awesome new templates! I'm going to try a few every month.. if time permits that is..:)
Also, last night I had a moment of realisation and something deep to ponder about. I was thinking about my dad... and what it is that I'm really missing in my life right now that I'm trying not to face and leave buried so it wouldn't hurt too much.
I was thinking about how I felt when I had my dad around and how I felt when I had male companionship which came with love, compassion and a strong sense of dependence in a good way.
The bond we create or get with a man, be it a father, brother or boyfriend gives you this strong feeling of being held close all the time and there is a sense of assurance that there is someone strong who will be there for you and watch out for you... someone who is just a call away and ready to catch you when you fall and help you get back on your feet... someone who is there as the stronger force who is able to give you what you need and give you that push you need..
I don't know how to exactly put this into words... it's like that strong invisible hand that keeps your back straight and makes you walk with your head up high... and its someone who is there to embrace you every moment of the way.
I always got this from my father and no one else. It was only when he was gone that I realised this and came to look for it outside in subtle ways.. Then came two guys who I thought would help in some way but both only resulted in me being used and trampled on, that it just broke my soul..
This then resulted in me looking away coz I couldn't bear to try once more...afraid of being hurt again coz that is not what I give myself for... True it makes us stronger, better and wiser people in the longrun.. but the scars never heal completely.
So that's why the empty space still exists... I'm afraid to fill it in anyway... even if opportunity does come... coz the outcome has never been pleasant before... This makes me very sad and feel like I'm stranded all by myself on a little island.. and I'm afraid... yes I'm.
Beauty they say is skin deep - a saying most women love, but not many men take to heart... and neither does my mother.
That was a very difficult post to type.
Thursday, June 10, 2010
Wishes
Have you heard the song “Airplanes” by B.O.B? I love it! I need shooting stars. I have 2 wishes to make right now. I really do.
I fell asleep with this thought in my head… My days have been not so great. Work does not give me time to socialize or even to gym. I think I feel this way coz I haven’t had the time to get out there and do something.
Sometimes when I consider some of the things I’ve to go through and the kind of people I have to deal with, it really saddens and frustrates me.
Oh well, to top this my mother tells me a Sami read my horoscope and said everything that I was going through now and how long it will take for me to expect change. I don’t rely on astrology much coz I have my mum who takes care of all that and who is very much into it. Don’t think two is needed for that kind of thing coz then it leads to an obsession and scarily you depend on it too much.
I just….. need a big change. I hope and pray my stars will start to favour me at some point!
On a different note, I started watching House season 1 and I already like it!
So, that’s me these days.
I have a sincere wish for you :
May you be blessed with good health, wealth, happiness, love, job satisfaction and lots of money in good ways! :)
I fell asleep with this thought in my head… My days have been not so great. Work does not give me time to socialize or even to gym. I think I feel this way coz I haven’t had the time to get out there and do something.
Sometimes when I consider some of the things I’ve to go through and the kind of people I have to deal with, it really saddens and frustrates me.
Oh well, to top this my mother tells me a Sami read my horoscope and said everything that I was going through now and how long it will take for me to expect change. I don’t rely on astrology much coz I have my mum who takes care of all that and who is very much into it. Don’t think two is needed for that kind of thing coz then it leads to an obsession and scarily you depend on it too much.
I just….. need a big change. I hope and pray my stars will start to favour me at some point!
On a different note, I started watching House season 1 and I already like it!
So, that’s me these days.
I have a sincere wish for you :
May you be blessed with good health, wealth, happiness, love, job satisfaction and lots of money in good ways! :)
Wednesday, June 02, 2010
Early morning cramps
The last two mornings including today have been very unpleasant for me. Just as I wake up, I get a painful cramp on my left calf muscle.
The one I got this morning was the worst and I don't even know why! I used to get them long long ago when I used to play tennis and not after that. This morning, I got it in my sleep early in the morning. I woke up with pain and I couldn't move my leg nor could I massage it...
After a few minutes it was alright. But today, the pain is still there and I can feel it every time I walk... It's so weird..
Any remedies? Other than eating salt that is.
The one I got this morning was the worst and I don't even know why! I used to get them long long ago when I used to play tennis and not after that. This morning, I got it in my sleep early in the morning. I woke up with pain and I couldn't move my leg nor could I massage it...
After a few minutes it was alright. But today, the pain is still there and I can feel it every time I walk... It's so weird..
Any remedies? Other than eating salt that is.
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