My aunt has been going to a pooja of sorts in Barnes place for a while now. She is a person who has been through a lot and has totally given up on horoscopes, predictions and only believes in Buddhism and prays daily. But ever since she was introduced to this pooja/bajan that takes place in the above mentioned place, she’s been going continuously as she truly believes in it and claims to have experienced blessings.
What happens in this place is every Thursday, they have Bajan for Satya Sai Baba. I’m yet to read/hear about this and see what exactly it is about. I didn’t go to work y-day as I was down with a tummy upset the last two days and so thought of taking the day off and letting my tummy settle before I went to work.
I was alright by evening and so my aunt asked me to join. I was bored and feeling much better and since I had nothing else to do, I decided to check it out.
Since I wasn’t a believer, it was a little boring for me.. But I did make a lot of observations. They started the Bajan by chanting the Gayathri Mantra over and over, I did not know the count. Then they went on to a few prayers and started the bajan which is a list of religious songs.
There were people to play instruments like the tabla, other percussion instruments etc. There were people to sing, both men and women who took turns and kept the music going and had lovely voices and talent.
People sang the songs beautifully. I did not understand a single word and at one point I saw a lot of people, including a lot of Buddhists, sing every word and slightly swaying from side to side enjoying it and everyone sang with feeling, confidence and hope.
What stunned me was the hope that radiated from everyone. One can almost feel it surrounding the place of prayer especially when they sang. Some had tears in their eyes while others enjoyed singing every word.
Every song started slow and then gradually increased in tempo.. and when that happened it stirred up everyone as a lot of the people would start clapping to a rhythm and sway from side to side and sing louder and louder.
It was beautiful to watch and listen. Singing such songs with nice rhythms bring peace to one’s mind and makes one calm, I’ve heard. I could actually see this happening. When it was all over, people left the hall with such confidence and contentment. They looked like they just had the best time of their life.
It was a nice experience.
A lot of people go to places of worship with hope and especially when they’re in need of something. I used to too. But since of late, I find myself losing hope… which can be a result of powerful mood swings.. but I realized that eventhough I have a little bit of hope for two things that I really want in my life right now, I feel let down sometimes. I feel and look back to see I never really had choices in some occassions. That somehow doesn’t seem to be fair at times. But maybe it’s how my story is supposed to be?
Living through each day, I think the next day would be better, but a lot of things make me sometimes lose ‘hope’ in my thoughts for the next day.
Yes, my mind goes through a constant battle of positivity Vs negativity and I try to shove in hope much more than I used to before. Last night I realized I just might try harder once the tears had dried and the calmness of the night set in, coz I never looked at the value I hold as a human being and that came with choices, and I know my parents made me select the right ones and I’ve a long way to go with them.
I never stopped praying… and never will.
Make sense? No? oh well… never mind then.
