The much needed evening

Last Wednesday turned out to be a not so great day at work...But the best part of it was hanging out in the evening with 2 wonderful people.

Dee was one of them... and now she knows what it's like when I've had two Long Island Iced teas. My world becomes light... I feel like I can float.. I feel relaxed.. Suddenly the world doesn't seem so bad.. and I talk too much.. I made Dee laugh a lot... and told her I might not be able to walk straight to the car (though I did) and my grammar went wrong a couple of times...

Oh I want to re-live it.. with Dee and the Long Island Iced Teas...coz the other member of the hang-out has left the island now...

You

You're all you understand
You're all you've always got
You're all you'll ever have
You're unique just the way you're

You're mighty you may think
You're shining amongst other stars in the sky
You're all you'll ever be
You're you, you must understand

You're the greatest you can ever want to be
You're a gift you can never take away
You're all you'll ever love for eternity
You're a blessing the world has received

You're the glittering gold and the sterling platinum
you're the toughest shield that was ever made
You're the best you can want to be
You're you, so just be you to the greatest extent you can ever be.




Had a tough, long, crazy day at work last night...working till late...and this is what I wrote in a matter of minutes.. and I thought, there still is positivity which I'm trying to bring out in me...:)

The week's mix

- Worked on saturday... again :S

- Baked a chocolate and vanilla marble cake today...recipe was from a random blog which I can't remember...

- Mum's caught this really bad flu...and she's coughing alot..and suddenly asks me if it could be swine flu...maybe if she doesn't feel better tomorrow, I'll take her for tests..

- A friend says she's having a really sad time and wants to meet up and talk... at times I just want to stay away from anything sad...but no heart to ignore anything like this...

- A married friend tells me she had a heated argument with her husband. She's quite close to me and well, in the midst of it, she said she couldn't control her anger and she hit him really hard...across the face! *slap* and felt good about it... The hubs was stunned and pretends like it never happened. :)lol.... honestly,I just froze when I heard it.

- Had a long lovely conversation with DramaQueen about our mothers...and predictions.. and horoscopes...and astrology... It was good!

I hope the week to come will be a good one... Not just for me but all of us..:)

Impulse Purchases

Yesterday I did two impulse purchases.

A colleague in office was looking to buy jewelery for his g/f and asked me for help in selecting. So I agreed and went. And my eyes wouldn't leave this particular watch that was being displayed there at the store so I bought it.

It was the style of watch I've been looking for and thing is I've never bought myself watches before. My dad was good with watch brands and always bought me my watches. This time, with no other option, I bought one for myself. May've been a little thing but felt a little sad but also satisfied. But now I need to figure out how I'm going to settle my credit card bill at the end of the month.

Then after getting back to office, I was browsing the site on which I buy most of my perfumes from...and there's this New Sarah Jessica Parker fragrance called Covet Pure Bloom which I've been in love with since the first time I sniffed it.. and I found a great offer on this site for the 50ml one and ordered that too!

[Watch + perfume = heavier credit card bill < feel good factor/happiness..:)]

A dream

I didn't go to work yesterday and today. Had a nap in the afternoon and I had this dream...Maybe it's my mind showing me things I've been wanting and needing for a while....

I've mentioned a few times before that I'm asthmatic...been having it since I was a baby..

While sleeping, I could feel that my chest was sort of congested...and it was difficult to breathe...but I was sleepy and I just couldn't wake up... I think the asthma got bad coz there's so much construction stuff happening and the dust is really bad.

In my sleep, I can feel that it's really difficult to breathe... I'm trying to wake up to get my inhaler but I just didn't have the strength to....and then...

I saw my father... he came to me...and gave me my inhaler...

Then he waited till I took a puff...held my hand and walked me to the car...and took me for a long drive...

My breathing was still bad...and I suddenly woke up gasping for air...

That moment I felt with him in the car.... is something I've been wanting so bad...and it felt so real...I just wish I didn't wake up for a long time.... coz it's been a while since I had a dream with him.... and it felt so....peaceful...yet sad..

And I can't get it out of my head.

Well...

The last couple of days, I noticed that I've got a few weird-ish fair patches on my face.... freaked me out when friends started to notice and asked me what it was....freaked me out even more when my mum shrieked last morning and examined my entire face!

And can it get any better?

The good dermatologist I usually go to is on vacation..:(

So I've channeled another one for today evening....

Hope the medication works...some say it could be a sun allergy... but I hardly find myself in the hot sun much anyway....

strange...

Eruptions

This was written in solitary confinement, in a time where emotions reached a peak (time period mentioned in the post 'Tummy cramps')




Sometimes you think
That the complexities in life
Help you hide away
Feelings that make you drown

In those busy moments
You fail to realize
That the feelings just gather away
Waiting to erupt later on

The volcano of emotions
Boils to the brim
In silent ways
You would’ve never guessed

When it’s about to erupt
You feel like you’re falling
Off the highest mountain
In a sudden burst of flames

You tell yourself
It’s going to be ok
That it’s only a reminder
That you never got over things

So just let it be and flow away
One day it will eventually stop the dismay
The ray of light will cast away
The dark clouds that hover over you

You look all around you
You’re all you’ve got
You’re all you understand
You’re all you’ll ever be

Time has its way
It will change they say
Just go with the flow
One day it will be better

The tears, the thoughts and sudden outburst
Will one day be like a distant dream
I yearn to face a day like that
To sleep the night and feel the peace

Don’t cry sweet child, you tell yourself
Life gives you a good meaning and story to tell
One day you will shine and your aura radiate
And conquer the sadness that doesn’t go away right now

When you were used, be happy you did nothing wrong
When you were sad, remember happy moments that made you glow
When you lost loved ones, think of the mark they left in you
When you cry again, remember you deserve to smile wide

If you’re sad, just let the tears flow
If you’re happy, celebrate and do anything you want
One day when you think you won’t cry again
You will look up and think, he’s still watching me after all.

Random weekend blabber

I have hardly had any sleep. After getting home last night at 8pm, my mother tells me that we've to pick my bro from a party around mid-night. Since he hardly ever parties, I thought ok, good for a change.

So picked him up, got home and hit the sack at around 1am. Referring to the previous post, I drugged myself with painkillers and after a while I hear endless drumming coz the Katina - Pirith had started in the temple in front of my house. I usually love these but last night it was getting on my nerves...

So NO sleep....then finally I dozed off again for a few mins...and by about 5ish in the morning I hear more drumming and lift my head off the pillow to listen properly...oh nooooo..it's the Perehara! I had no strength to kneel on my bed and watch the perehara through my window like I normally do, so just lay awake on my bed...yawning at a rate....

Then as I was falling asleep, I get non stop calls from office... Was on the phone for over an hour and then I realised there were MANY complexities and I had to handle them..so had a shower, picked breakfast on the way and got to office...

Here I'm...yawning away.... and working.....third weekend at a stretch....

I'm stuck at work...

Sleepy....

Watching Grey's Anatomy latest episode....

Wishing I was at home..in bed....

No wait! My mum's latest attraction is TILES! We've a terazzo floor at home.. She wanted to tile the ground floor to get a new look...So now, our ground floor is being tiled.. It's messy, and the railings have come off the staircase making the climb up and down a little weird....and my house is SO dusty and it just irritates me...

Oh well...atleast it keeps my mum's mind off her ill-nesses and she's occupied...which is a good thing. Before tiles, it was garden... Now if you see my garden, the land-scaping people have done a wonderful job of bringing in colourful plants and I see flowers bloom in colours, shapes and sizes I never knew existed!

I still remember, when the garden was being done, she called me asking what I thought about ponds and waterfalls and what not... I simply said " well, I know I'm not going to be cleaning and maintaining them.. Do you think you'll have the time and health to do that on a regular basis?" ...

Then she thinks for a few seconds....and finally agreed to just do basic plants stuff and nothing high in maintenance... and somehow she had managed to get the landscaping guys to agree to come and maintain the plants every month!

Only problem with this is that she has grown grass very nicely and I'm not allowed to put Mandy (car) out there to wash coz it will leave tyre tracks on the grass!

So now when I say, being at home doesn't quite feel like it... you get the picture right?

Sigh..

Back to work.

Dear tummy cramps

Oh dear tummy cramps,

I know you need to bug the hell out of my life every month
But now is not a good time
As I'm loaded with work
With hardly any time to even munch something
So pls listen to all the painkillers I've taken
And let me be and do my work in peace!

I Abso-fucking-lutely hate this! and can't bare the damn pain. GAH!

Sexuality

I was reading The Puppeteer's post and then remembered an incident which happened last week.

There's a family friend's son who joins me for gym work-outs. He's just 19 in age and encourages me to work-out alot and helps me too. So last week, we were both having a bad day and I decided not to talk much. So he started to go on about what a bad day he had and blah blah

I listened to his college stories and said the whole 'been there done that' chorus and then he looked at me and said "I have something to tell you, but I wonder if you'll look at me the wrong way after that".

So I said "well the only way you'll know is to say it and see"

Then he said "nah never mind"

So I said "ok"

Then he turned towards me again and said "I'm gay"

I looked at him and said "So what?"


At this point, he just wanted to hug me and kept saying 'thank you' coz no one else had ever accepted that fact before and people who were his friends would change and be different towards him once they knew this.

That day, his best friend had announced to his entire class that he was gay (coz they had some sort of a fall-out) and everyone had been laughing at him and calling him names. He had been devastated and hadn't known what to do. I can only imagine what it would've felt like.

So after having a good conversation about being happy and being comfortable about who you are and not caring what the world has to say, he felt better and then the next problem was figuring out how to tell his parents.

He's the only child and his parents are very proud of him. They spoil him a lot and well, they're of a fairly rich background too. So I told him that he might have to hold on for a couple of years and then finally find a way to tell them.. and that it will not be easy since I know how the parents are. But lets face it, what can the parents do anyway.

So yea... it got me thinking...some people actually have problems in trying to just be who they are... the world sometimes does not give much peace eh?

Oh well, I hope the world changes with time.... I'm also surprised that teens/young adults still look at gay people in this weird way..... esp the upper-class society.

Or maybe it's just some people.......

Ok, back to work....gah!

Tagged - Bloggers I've met

So I was tagged yet again, this time by our St.Fallen here.

I've to write about bloggers I've met and tag 5. So lets start...

(1) Drama Queen - I work with her and drifted together from the previous work place (which was a very short stay) to this. We're close and confide in each other, listen to each other's shit moments at work and talk about common maternal problems that never seem to lessen. We both love the colour purple, shopping fairs, bras, shoes, foot massages, Japanese food etc etc the list is endless. Having her in my life TRULY makes a difference and I love you dearly..:)

(2) Deecee - A girl who I met as a jogging partner and grew to be a really good friend. We're on this wavelength which some others might think is weird coz of the way we communicate..:) We're totally comfortable with each other and have helped each other out in times of need and advice. I'm truly glad we met and got close coz she's a friend who makes a difference too.

(3) Gutterflower - My cupcake girl. She worked in a sister company in the group for a while and that's how we met. It was a little strange in the beginning coz eventhough we met for the first time, we knew quite a bit about eachother through the blogs and she knew a lot about me through mine. We still do meet up on and off and it's always fun hanging out with each other and I really miss her ever since she left. Her cooking is bloody awesome and I miss all the yummy stuff too... Love you too my cupcake..:)

(4) Delilah - A truly lovely and fun person who I love to hang out with and talk to. She's fun, caring and a really cool person. We talk about all sorts of things and meet a lot. We share a passion for eclairs and cream buns too and well, it's fun to hang out with eachother. She has also given me comfort in times I needed it and I will always be thankful for that. Love you my Delilah..:)

(5) Charm Bracelet - She and I happen to have MANY common friends and we met the first time when she had come to meet a common friend who works with us in the same group. She's a nice person, ready to help out in times of need and would go to the extent of saying things that would make me feel better. Thanks for the helping hand and for the lovely friendship. :) Well, we work out together tooooooo whenever we can..:) Thanks for the inspiration and you know what I mean.

(6) Nefarious Chronicles -She was the Queen of the dark asylum when I got to know her. I've spoken to her once or twice, had online chats with her and txted eachother but never met until coincidentally we ended up on the same trip and I knew she looked familiar as she was on my FB. It was fun meeting get and getting to know her and I hope we meet more often. She's fun and a lovely person.

(7) Thackshila - Met him once. We chat quite often and he used to listen to my miseries and comfort me in times of need. A caring and lovely guy who also gave me tons of chocolates when we met as he had come from UK for vacation..:) Easy going, down to earth and awesome person!

(8) Chaarmax - Met this HBC fan quite a few times. Went for his sweet b'day celebration too this year. A fun bloke, easy going, lazy jogger :P, has a football fetish, loves food like moi and Deecee, easy to talk to, caring, and a very good friend. Don't ever leave..:) and I haven't met him for a while.

(9)Whackster - What can I say about whacky? I met him too just once at the CIM exams with Noorie (mentioned below) and he appeared to be fun and talkative.:) He greeted me by screaming out "Hey, the legendary Lady Divine. Finally we meet." Then I shushed him and told him not to scream and we introduced ourselves and got into conversation with Noorie and Rants of a middlechild (both mentioned below).

(10) Noorie - Briefly met her at the CIM exam when she had finished her paper and was having a good time while I was a little nervously getting ready to sit for mine. She offered me smokes when I had decided to stop..:)She appears to be fun btw and was coming up with nicknames for us.

(11) Dancing with D - She was a junior in the same school I went to and figured me out through similar FB status updates which linked to things I wrote here. Smart I must say..:)

(12) Lost Soul -This is a really good friend. He was in school with me too and then we found eachother again in the blogger world. He's always available on chat all the time and always ready to comfort me if I'm sad or having a bad day. A true friend and we confide in each other and help eachother out.:) Thanks for being there for me.. esp through the dark times..

(13) Rants of a middlechild - Hmm... Someone I've met about twice in my life. Once when she was interviewing my cousin brother (before we were bloggers) for some research and then later at the CIM exams. Nice and fun soul I must say.

(14) My space (aka SOB)- A very nice guy who is very helpful. I've met him briefly only once and gotten to know him through countless hours of chatting online. A lovely soul, witty, entertaining, insightful and caring old man..:) Thanks for being there and making me smile..:) and for listening to my crap..:)

(15) The Doc - Known him for a while. Went on a trip where he was a part of the gang and I know he loved our company. A kind hearted, fun and lovely person.:)Awesome photography skills too!!! and ready to have fun at anytime! :)

(16) St. Fallen - Well I've never met him but have had many online chats with him and spoken to him a few times too. It's fun, insightful and awesome. He can be caring and supportive in times of need and has made me realise quite a few things in my life too. Thanks for it bro! :) In fact he has mentioned what I had in mind in his post..:)

(17) Club Gonzo - This crazy lady joined our company recently and she's a fun person to be with. We can sit for hours and talk and laugh and laugh and have a really good time! Glad to have you around Gonzo! :)

(18) Santhoshi - Never met her...only txt and talk to her and she's a nice lady. She's one of those people who always let me know she's around whenever something sad comes upon my blog.Thanks for the nice company..:)

(19) DD - A lovely fatherly figure who I've never met. Only keep in touch through this blog and emails on and off. Always the one to advice me and look over me which I truly appreciate more than words can say.:) and I meant it.

Phew, it's done! I feel like I won an award and was onstage thanking all the people in my life! Gosh I HAVE met quite a number of them noh? I'm wondering whether I have missed out anyone coz the list is really long!

So I hereby tag :

Deecee

My Space (aka SOB)

Rants of a middle child

Chaarmax

Lost soul

Dose of random-ness

(1) I casually had a conversation with my mum one day while watching a Bungee Jumping incident on TV.

ME - I would really love to bungee jump some day and sky dive too.

Mum - goes "hmmmmm"
Then looks at me and tells me a number of ways in which I could die or get crippled.

Me - *thinks to myself* why the hell did I even mention it! *sigh*


(2) I've been wondering why people love Kotmale ice cream SO much and so bought the Richy Rich varient.

Man it was SO Good! and I now understand. Truly Sri-lankan eh? ;)

So now we've Hagen Daaz ice cream in town.. only wish Baskin Robbins was around..

(3) Listened to preachings y-day for poya and got into that sad state of mind "we tend to forget that life is a never-ending cycle of suffering".

(4) I'm at work on a Sunday craving for some white chocolate and feeling lazy to hit the gym when I'm done with work.

(5) I have reduced in terms of size but gained in terms of weight! Must've been the weight training. After feeling de-motivated and moody for a while, I decided to do only cardio till December with abs workout and see how it goes. Nothing like picking one's self up after being hit..:)

(6) Am waiting for this year to end... it wasn't great.. but I can look back and sing 'I survived'..:)

(7) I'm currently reading 'Breaking Dawn', the last book of the Twilight series and turning into a vampire doesn't seem to be too bad. If only we had more Edward Cullens around...

tipsy conversations with office colleagues

Y-day was somewhat of a sad day as one of our really good directors retired. So we had a farewell beer party after work.I too joined them and surprisingly almost all of the office crowd was there and it was FUN!

I also now confirm the post written here based on today's experience. So Last night I had Special Brew - for the first time and it was good! and also had chicken. It is now confirmed that since of late any kind of alco and meat reacts in me. Since I woke up this morning I found a few light patches on my face and they're itchy. Gah! Good learning and our body changes all the time noh?

So, I was seated with a bunch of fun people and here are some questions they asked me.

(1)

D - LD, you seem to be a person with a lot of good karma. You drive a vehicle and you have so much in your life. Any idea what temple you went to in your previous life?

Me - err.... *blink blink* blank face...(should I have even bothered answering that?)

D & P - next time you have all those almsivings and all, do call us as we would like to gain some merit too to be like you in our next life..

Me - *nod*

(2)

After D had a few bottles of beer :

D - Here LD, the stuff that I need to complete tomorrow for you to present, can I give them on Monday?

Me - *frowns* NO!

(3)

P - Have you got any more briefs for us to work on? Now might be the best time to give them "grins*

Me - maybe you should stop drinking now.


And it went on and on and on...and I can't remember some of the good funny ones at the moment.

Oh and I was wearing a knee-length shortish skirt and there was this cat who would randomly decide to rub itself against my leg and it's tail would stretch upto my thigh and this would make me just jerk and scream everytime it did that coz eventhough I like cats I'm not used to having them around! and EVERYONE had a good laugh everytime I screamed and straightened up whenever this happened.

So yea.. that's it for now folks.