Wicked moments in life

Last night brought me one of those... and wicked is not in the sense of being cool..but life being wicked in the true sense.

I had this frustrated anger built up in me when I realised last night that my salary hadn't been transferred to the account. Not a major thing as talking to accounts will solve it coz maybe they made a mistake as I changed accounts due to inconvenience.

So after going home, I mentioned this and went about to having dinner. I did let my frustration out in a loud voice in three sentences and then told my mother that I'm just angry and wanted it out. Oh she wouldn't stop! She went on and on and on and somehow it was my fault and I shouldn't have been loud coz the neighbours could've heard and I wasn't THAT loud!

Gah!

That just totally frustrated me. All I wanted was for her to listen to me and if at all say 'you can get it fixed tomorrow'. Instead she brags on about God knows what!

Even in my own home, I feel so alone. The only parent left isn't the understanding one. So I will live with it. I'm alone. Other than the rest of the world like friends, it'll always be like that.

It's not a big thing. But the realisation that my mother will never change in the way she reacts...and the fact that after all these years she isn't understanding... only makes me yearn for the father who was the bestest of the best in the world....

Rant and sad post over.

I'm dressed nice today with my new pair of shoes and I will do all I can to NOT let this get to me anymore. It was y-day and it should be there and not ruin today for me. Period.

Oh shit, I forgot my gym bag! Aaaaarrrgggghhh!!!

About the ass...

So, while working out at the gym, two people,one known to me and the other unknown told me not to reduce my ass! The one known to me went to the extent of saying that it's bountiful! and THAT made me feel very uneasy.

Coincidentally this happened right after DQ said I've lost a little weight and I should watch out for the ass and not let it shrink.

Strange... what I really want to lose are the hips and butt... and I've people telling me only to lose my hips a little coz it would make the ass look better.

Then what happens?

I tell this to my mum... and she's stunned that guys told me this. lol. the expression on her face was priceless! and then she says that a few women in the neighbourhood had said the same thing.

I don't believe it!

Oh well.... I'm still determined to work it out to an extent.. :)

And like DQ said 'honey, if you've got it, just flaunt it'.:)

Only problem is that my face goes down really fast... and not the problem areas. sigh! and then my cheekbones are slightly visible..:(

Oh and other than that I've found good news. The latest seasons of Supernatural, Gossip Girl, Heroes, Grey's Anatomy & Ghost Whisperer have started! Whoop! :)

And happy week y'all! :)

Caught by the cops

So I was caught by Dee and Santhoshi to do this tag thing. But I couldn't find Dee's post though.

Tag : Answer this question.

“If you saw ME in a police car what would you think I got arrested for?”


Well Basically this is the tag, three stories on bloggers who would be found in a cops car for various Crimes that they are about to or could or would commit ...

I would keep it an open tag for those who would like to do it. And if you do,let me know so I can give reasons to why I think you would've been arrested..:)

As for my answers :

Dee - For breaking many road rules in one go and trying to flirt with the cop by calling him a "cute pani bola gediya' ..;)

Santhoshi - for having stolen too many shoes in one day! ;)

Work - never ending trauma

So it was one of those days. But last evening was good. Started off by watching Dil Bole Hadippa where I thought Rani's acting was fantabulous and I really liked it! Me being the one who doesn't watch many Hindi movies actually liked it. It was jokey yar. ;)

Then ended the night with cheese kottu and iced milo and chocolate rotti. This was actually the first time I pigged out after joining the gym and honestly, I felt really uncomfortable after the whole eating session. To top it up, I woke up this morning with a slight throat irritation.

So yea, today feels like one of those days but we're just one day close to the weekend.... and sadly this weekend looks like it'll be work-filled.

How I wish I was one of those spoilt girls who came from a super rich family where I didn't have to worry about a thing and my parents would find me a partner from an equally royal family and I never have to worry about how I'm going to be taken care of..coz I know it will happen. Gah! Stop dreaming and back to reality.

So how is it going for your guys?

Glimpses

- Over the weekened, I took everyone at home to watch the Sinhala movie Akasa Kusum...as I haven't had time to take them for anything other than occasional dinners. It was ok I'd say... very predictable.. BUT my mum was sniffing and wiping tears at the end of it.

- Then y-day did the weekend temple routine. I wonder where the blessings go really. But faith/thought of good karma keeps making me go anyway.

- My mother tells us this story for the millionth time about how her life was in danger when she was pregnant with my brother as she started to bleed in the 7th month and had cists in her womb and was in hospital for 21 days until my bro's heart just stopped and that's when the C-section was performed only to find him healthy and fine. Then the problem was for my dad to find places to keep me when he was at work as I was nanny-less.

That was also solved coz family friends loved to take care of me as I had a big mouth and provided entertainment all the time. My mother is amazed at how much I've changed.. including my brother. and she misses having small troublesome kids.

- I'm loving this weather.. it's the ideal weather to sit in my balcony, feel the breeze on my skin and read a good book with a cup of milk or hot chocolate. Sigh! and I'm stuck at work!

My day

Woke up really early in the morning

Took mother to hospital for a colonoscopy due to lower tummy aches

Doc figured she had 2 little cists in her intestines

Doc fixed the problem by instantly removing them

Dropped mother home

Got to work

Since then it's been work..work..work...

Took a moment to breathe now..

Back aches, eyes need to shut for a while, need food

Work to be finished... and perhaps something yummy to eat on the way home to treat myself after a long time..

This is weird - I don't seem to have an appetite for sweets these days...

Mundane ... and not so right Monday

It sucks when you're at work on a Monday...wearing a very colourful psychedelic top for a change and have everyone comment posivitely on it... and then find out that one of the IT guys had accidently turned off the virus-guard on my PC and I've got a few viruses which don't even allow me to get to Google! sigh...


It also happened to be a day with a significant amount of work...:S


Then, I hit the gym after work and realised that there's a particular guy I seem to notice a lot..:) Don't know who the hell he is..but there's something about him that I seem to like.. Anyways, what really matters... is the realisation that I can actually look at someone else (gosh I sound like a 15 yr old having her first crush!)... and be distracted by someone else other than....you know what.

I'm so freaking tired that I might fall asleep on the keyboard now...

Have a good week y'all.

Sad fact for the upcoming month - There are NO holidays. Sigh! :(

I sometimes wish I could be hypnotised... and get certain memories erased...

Gym-nesia

Yes, that's something I'm experiencing these days..

Found a work-out buddy who's my brother's friend. He's like the unpaid personal trainer who makes me workout for a good 2 1/2 hours a day and it's fun and I do a LOT in that time.

I see too many machines, weights and muscles these days, including a politician who makes me laugh!

The amount of bloggers who work out in the same gym is cool. I don't know all of them though.

BUT, when certain men carry those weights... with sleeveless t-shirts..lot of muscles... and a lot of triumph..oh baby! what a sight...what a distraction... :-)

Me like it very much..:)

And what I saw was that body building isn't for everyone.. it doesn't suit everyone.. you need to know what fits or what's right for you...

But what I can't stand...

Is the back ache that's coming to surface again... sigh...

But I will keep trying this time... through the hurt and the pain... lets keep working out.:)

Have a good weekend dear readers! :)

Simple things

After feeling awful yday, I'm actually better today. A good friend came to see me to office and it felt so good to catch up. She was the bride of the wedding mentioned here.

These little things do help. I feel so much better after all the laughter we had. Gosh I miss her. I miss good friends. I miss good times.

Oh well... on the bright side, for a person who wears a lot of black, colours can do wonders and I feel it too. Here I'm in a pink top and pink earrings and it feels good when people notice the difference and says "don't change". :)

Anyways, I haven't worked out for a few days due to lady troubles. Gah!

Also want to try out High Tea at Galle Face hotel. Anyone been to Cinnamon Lakeside? Is it good?

Random bleh

Today as I sit in my workstation, the sounds around me hardly make a difference. The printer goes off once in a while, phones ring, people talk and heels tap away, laughter explodes in our ears and the key boards are tapped away. The A/Cs work non stop and my world is in the midst of all this.

Oblivious to everything around me, I still carry on, my mind in a daze in silent turmoil. There is no rest but reasons and thoughts twisting and churning making me want to just get up and walk without stopping. My eyes will be on the pathway in front of me but I wouldn’t be looking where I’m going as my mind is occupied with something else.

People come and go. The world keeps rotating. Change takes place in many different ways. Sometimes we’re stuck in the junction of wants and needs. Then there are times where the wants are not right for us and we’ve got it wrong. Then there are certain things about the past that are stuck in your mind. You struggle to hide them… You battle hard to get over things… But sometimes it’s just too much and when it’s all coming back to you so unexpectedly, you just want to stand still and let the world go by…

And somehow… the world seems like a strange place too…
and you just want to hide and watch the sunset and count the stars in the dark sky till you lose track of your count..
and when the dawn of the next day is near, you only hope for a better day…
though you know the better days can take a long time to dawn again.


I'm just having one of those days... sigh. and I don't feel like indulging in anything to get sugar rush either..

Love is... (tagged)

I was tagged by DD to this post about Love. When I read his post,I was thinking, people tend to sometimes miss out on it in a very broad perspective.. and this post really got me thinking...

Thanks DD, you really made me think.... and opened my eyes today..:) much love.


Here is what comes to mind..

Love is that feeling where you put the significant others before yourself and making them happy makes you happy.

Love is when friends turn up to surprise you to wish you on your most recent victory.

Love is 2 friends watching you get drunk and talk endlessly and listen to you while hugging you and clean up after you when you're throwing up and then tucking you in bed and letting you have the sheet as you wouldn't let go of it and sleep in the cold.

Love is my mum sensing that I'm affected or sad about something but knows I will never talk about it and goes to the temple praying and hoping that I will be ok again.

Love is my dad giving me permission to go out for graduation dinner while my mum loudly said 'NO' in front of all my friends.

Love is handing over the big slab of chocolate I bought from the supermarket for myself and giving it to the little boy on the street and seeing his face glow.

Love is my mother giving me all sorts of things to keep me happy...including a car on my 24th b'day.

Love is my mum hating dogs but never fails to feed the street dog who is known to all as Rocky.

Love is staying up all night with great difficulty to txt the significant other coz he's having a bad day and can't sleep.

Love is praying for him and doing everything for him and forgetting all what you want.

Love is holding a cute baby in your arms and feeling him/her put their arms around you and fall asleep.

Love is taking something for my sibling to eat if I'm picking him after work coz I know he's had a long day.

Love is random messages from friends to let you know they're there when you're not having a good day.

Love is when my father told my mother he plans to meditate in training temples later on and my mother responding saying she'll do the same in a temple closeby so they can still meet.

Love is my mum waking up earlier than usual to make my breakfast to take when I make an early morning trip to the gym.

Love is older people worshiping me when I've helped them or done something for them that they can't forget.

Love is my little cousin sister screaming my name as loud as ever as she wants to share a piece of chocolate with me.

Love is people calling you up at a rate to check on you when you haven't turned up for work coz you were sick.

Love is my mum reminding me I need to order my next set of contact lenses eventhough she doesn't like it very much but knows I find them to be better and like them.

Love is good friends throwing you a surprise on your b'day.

Love is when friends abroad send you flowers coz they couldn't keep in touch for a while.

Love is some people reading my blog just to make sure I'm ok.

Love is sharing things with each other, be it siblings, friends,colleagues etc.

Love is when a friend makes brownies or cake and saves a piece for you.

Love is random txt messages from friends saying how much they love you for the wonderful person you're.

Love is my brother moving his bed to my mum's room to be with her as she falls sick too often and needs attention.

Love is so many things around us......

Love is divine...

Love is something that cannot be written in one post.

Love is....all around....if only we wish to see it

And I would hereby love to tag :

Surani
PseudoRandom
St.Fallen
Gadgetgirl
Santhoshi
Sach
Sigma

Broken Glass

In times of emotional despair
Turmoil and utter sadness
The pain that seeps through
Could blind you and make you numb

Broken glass lay shattered across the floor
You blindly step on those sparkly pieces
Only to lose the first step you set
And fall blatantly flat on the deadly shatter

The cuts and bruises drain you out
Of life and soul that keeps you going
The numbness prevails but you get up
Keep moving despite the cuts of glass

You remember the fall all the time
The cuts may heal but the marks remain
The story of the cuts come alive so strong
Everytime you see or think of that chapter

A beautiful object is what lay now
As shattered glass causing cuts and bruises
Once shattered things'll never be the same again
No matter how much you hide it, it never goes away




Random spur of the moment writing. Driving home last evening from work seemed hard as everything was fogged up in my mind uncontrollably.

I was randomly going through a diary this morning that lays on my desk. I never maintain one, but last year in the most darkest moments I did write how I felt everytime I was feeling upset. It's been a year... yet reading through it made it all come alive even more strongly.. as fresh as it could be..

Time takes time I can see..

The shattered glass remains...

But I will get over the cut....coz the pain was never worth it... and never will be...

Hmmm..

The day I don't go to the gym coz of an early morning meeting, I see all the nice looking guys going for a workout! Including the owner of a bloody awesome sports car which I LOVE and admire everytime I see it!

I've had a very Holy weekend. Been doing this seven day Bodhi pooja and seth kavi session with my mum for The Doc's mum. Since they're not Buddhists and could use all the help and prayer healing, my mum and I thought we could do this. Ofcourse my mum does the bulk of it.. and I'm glad that my parents have taught me these things..:)

Saturday was all about temples. Morning was at Kande Vihare and then evening spent in Bellanvila. I was asked to do a vow in Kande Vihare and well, I did it... and there was my mother silently hoping that I would get married one of these days! Can you believe it? Gah!

I've now been valued! Nice price tag I must say... and the funny thing is, my mum actually gives me permission to go out with friends that she has met. Including the idea of going to Malaysia, which unfortunately isn't going to work as we just missed a good deal. It's very surprising.

Then my mum tells me that there's some planetary change happening on the 10th and it's not good for her star sign. So she talks about dying all the time and it's not fun!

I hate work. Wait, that isn't anything new.

I'm reading Eclipse - the third book of the Twilight series. I want to be a vampire. Or I wish I had a vampire like Edward. I really do ....

That's it for now from the category of nonsense and moments of the past week.

:)