So it's the dawn of the tagging season again I see.... I've got messages from Serendib_Isle, Sachintha and Harumi saying that I'm tagged and here we go..
So now here are the rules for the tagged one..
1. you need to write 5 words describing your thoughts / views about the recent events of Lanka
2. you need to tag 5 bloggers
3. you need to.. sit back and relax!
Here we goooooooo:
(1) Hopeful
(2) Happy
(3) Relief
(4) Sad
(5) Sanguine
And now... to tag 5 others... I pick... Delilah, Gutterflower, Deecee, Black and Unsilent Dawn..:)
Friday, May 29, 2009
Thursday, May 28, 2009
Almost exposed
Went on consumer visits (research) all morning and landed in office in the afternoon. There's a colleague who's quite whacky. He's in his 40s with this "I'm really cool attitude"..heavy smoker with a bad cough which makes me picture his lungs coming out of his mouth everytime he coughs (one lung at a time)..and in my mind they look very crisp and burnt.
Anywayz, I had my blog open coz I wanted to check out my fellow bloggers' new posts and suddenly this above mentioned cool dude stands behind me and this is how it goes :
dude- A glimpse of lady divine's world..*has a quizzical look* what the fuck is that man?
Me - oh... trust me, you don't want to know ..( and I minimise my web browser).
dude - no man, tell me.. what the fuck was that?
Me - don't know men.. someone's writing which I check on and off..
dude - oh I see..
Me - (quickly changes topic) here, any new movies? I've got my movie list which I want to get soon.
and we had one LONG movie conversation... phew! and he forgot about the divine world..:)
Now I need to find the movie Uninvited for him and I wonder where the hell I saved it. It's a good movie btw.. loved the ending!
Anywayz, I had my blog open coz I wanted to check out my fellow bloggers' new posts and suddenly this above mentioned cool dude stands behind me and this is how it goes :
dude- A glimpse of lady divine's world..*has a quizzical look* what the fuck is that man?
Me - oh... trust me, you don't want to know ..( and I minimise my web browser).
dude - no man, tell me.. what the fuck was that?
Me - don't know men.. someone's writing which I check on and off..
dude - oh I see..
Me - (quickly changes topic) here, any new movies? I've got my movie list which I want to get soon.
and we had one LONG movie conversation... phew! and he forgot about the divine world..:)
Now I need to find the movie Uninvited for him and I wonder where the hell I saved it. It's a good movie btw.. loved the ending!
Monday, May 25, 2009
Through the weekend
I was bored.
Took my mum out to look for lampshades/lighting stuff.
Was helping her decide on some tiles. (She suddenly hit this mood of doing stuff around the house like Nora Walker does in Brothers and Sisters)
Slept alot.
Ate alot. Got the domestic lady who suddenly appeared to make pancakes to satisfy my sudden Saturday evening craving.
Bought all the pirikara (stuff for monks) on my account for this big almsgiving for two days which my family has planned (in memory of my dad) to give to monks who meditate in some deep jungle area a bit away from Avissawella. I think it's happening mid-week.
Was happy to receive a txt from a friend in Aussie who claims to be happy and free from problems for which I helped her through... The line "it's coz of you" really touched me.
Another txt from a friend (who I used to refer to as Psychedelic V) touched me beyond words. She reads this blog on and off and if she reads something disturbing, she always txts me. She's a friend who got close to me in my previous work place. The mesgs go :
(1) Ok love, v must meet n u can talk n i will listen. I'll be your sponge and I will come 2 u if u need me 2. I sense I'm needed and u don't have 2 ask coz I'll always be there 4 u. pls remember that i love u and i think u r gorgeous just the way u r love. ur my bright shinning star. mwwah!
(2) Let me know the time and place. ur smart and beautiful and a good friend. dont ever let me see u put ur self down. u r above this pity shit. ur a star love and u always were. luv u loads.
Sweet eh? Coming from her, it sure did touch me..:)
Hmm.. then I got called for dinners, poker evening and a shopping spree... but I declined them all coz I just wanted to be left alone.
and Now.... back at work... got late to wake up.. and so the week starts rolling.
Happy work week y'all!
oh and how have you guys been? :)
Took my mum out to look for lampshades/lighting stuff.
Was helping her decide on some tiles. (She suddenly hit this mood of doing stuff around the house like Nora Walker does in Brothers and Sisters)
Slept alot.
Ate alot. Got the domestic lady who suddenly appeared to make pancakes to satisfy my sudden Saturday evening craving.
Bought all the pirikara (stuff for monks) on my account for this big almsgiving for two days which my family has planned (in memory of my dad) to give to monks who meditate in some deep jungle area a bit away from Avissawella. I think it's happening mid-week.
Was happy to receive a txt from a friend in Aussie who claims to be happy and free from problems for which I helped her through... The line "it's coz of you" really touched me.
Another txt from a friend (who I used to refer to as Psychedelic V) touched me beyond words. She reads this blog on and off and if she reads something disturbing, she always txts me. She's a friend who got close to me in my previous work place. The mesgs go :
(1) Ok love, v must meet n u can talk n i will listen. I'll be your sponge and I will come 2 u if u need me 2. I sense I'm needed and u don't have 2 ask coz I'll always be there 4 u. pls remember that i love u and i think u r gorgeous just the way u r love. ur my bright shinning star. mwwah!
(2) Let me know the time and place. ur smart and beautiful and a good friend. dont ever let me see u put ur self down. u r above this pity shit. ur a star love and u always were. luv u loads.
Sweet eh? Coming from her, it sure did touch me..:)
Hmm.. then I got called for dinners, poker evening and a shopping spree... but I declined them all coz I just wanted to be left alone.
and Now.... back at work... got late to wake up.. and so the week starts rolling.
Happy work week y'all!
oh and how have you guys been? :)
Thursday, May 21, 2009
How do I look like a Buddhist?
Occasionally I browse through a clothing store whenever I get bored or tired.. and there's a girl there who once noticed me and spoke to me. From that day onwards, she comes to me everytime I step in there and talks to me. It's a little spooky too coz a few minutes after entering the store, when I turn I just see her standing a few yards away from smiling and waiting till I notice her.
So we were having a casual chat the other day. She's just out of school and was talking to me about some of the brands in the store. A very sweet girl she is, and she asked me whether I was Christian. I replied saying I was a Buddhist and she just did not believe me!
She said I 'looked' like a Christian.... and at this point, having heard this many times before, I asked her why she thinks I'm a Christian and what it is about me that I need to change to be a Buddhist. She just shrugs her shoulders and smiles at me and says it's just the way I'm.. the way I talk.. the way I dress... and the way I carry myself.
So then I asked her how should a Buddhist be? Then she just says that she doesn't know and that at a glance it's hard to say I'm a Buddhist....
Oh well... absolutely no discrimination there folks. I'm just saying this happens to me alot.
Other than feeling a little sick-ish with body aches (as if someone beat me up real bad coz I feel bruised) and limping slightly coz my ankle's getting worse.... I've just been swamped with work and I'm hating every minute of it.. *sigh*
On the bright side, I ordered for disposable contact lenses coz the Doc finally said I can try them! :) whoop! since my sight is pretty screwed, my lenses take a month to be made and brought down and they are bloody expensive! So to try them out I ordered for the 6 months disposable ones..
When I was trying it out at the optician there were a bunch of people watching me struggle to poke the lenses into my eyes (for trial purposes) and I was tearing too... I so hope I get used to it!
Anyway, my mum hated what she saw and kept saying it's a mistake to get contacts. Then this other gentlemen who was one of the people who were staring me, started to talk to my mum asking her if something was wrong with my eyes. She explained to him that they were contacts and how stupid it was of me to try them.. and the man agreed with her and the two of the had a good bitching session about it..lol
So yea... that's whats been going on... and now I feel like I wanna throw up.. arrgh!
So we were having a casual chat the other day. She's just out of school and was talking to me about some of the brands in the store. A very sweet girl she is, and she asked me whether I was Christian. I replied saying I was a Buddhist and she just did not believe me!
She said I 'looked' like a Christian.... and at this point, having heard this many times before, I asked her why she thinks I'm a Christian and what it is about me that I need to change to be a Buddhist. She just shrugs her shoulders and smiles at me and says it's just the way I'm.. the way I talk.. the way I dress... and the way I carry myself.
So then I asked her how should a Buddhist be? Then she just says that she doesn't know and that at a glance it's hard to say I'm a Buddhist....
Oh well... absolutely no discrimination there folks. I'm just saying this happens to me alot.
Other than feeling a little sick-ish with body aches (as if someone beat me up real bad coz I feel bruised) and limping slightly coz my ankle's getting worse.... I've just been swamped with work and I'm hating every minute of it.. *sigh*
On the bright side, I ordered for disposable contact lenses coz the Doc finally said I can try them! :) whoop! since my sight is pretty screwed, my lenses take a month to be made and brought down and they are bloody expensive! So to try them out I ordered for the 6 months disposable ones..
When I was trying it out at the optician there were a bunch of people watching me struggle to poke the lenses into my eyes (for trial purposes) and I was tearing too... I so hope I get used to it!
Anyway, my mum hated what she saw and kept saying it's a mistake to get contacts. Then this other gentlemen who was one of the people who were staring me, started to talk to my mum asking her if something was wrong with my eyes. She explained to him that they were contacts and how stupid it was of me to try them.. and the man agreed with her and the two of the had a good bitching session about it..lol
So yea... that's whats been going on... and now I feel like I wanna throw up.. arrgh!
Saturday, May 16, 2009
Series of things going wrong...
So first came the allergic reaction which I believe wasn't for that weird drink called the Kamakazi I had at the pub coz it's main content was vodka and my system has been handling vodka for a few years! I'm thinking it might be food that I took with it and maybe it reacted bad... or maybe it didn't go well with my asthma medication or something...
This led to my ankles swelling up and so my mum actually brought me a basin of warm water with salt last night and asked me to keep both feet in for a while and then asked me to apply some gel. I was watching something on the PC at that time with my brother and when I was done with the soaking my feet thing, I picked up the basin and went to clear it when I slipped and fell and the water was all over my brother's room floor and the salt water also found it's way into the power cable on the floor and the power system at home went off!
The scary part is that I screamed when I slipped and fell and as I was getting off the floor in the dark my mum kept calling out my name in this really scary tone coz she thought I got electrocuted! It scared me that I couldn't even respond to her! and when I finally did, she was just so relieved and my brother turned the trip switches on and it was all fine.
Then today I realised that my ankle swelling has gone down but my right ankle hurts... and then figured what it was.. I've mentioned before that I've got an ankle injury.. where the ligament in my right ankle got stretched and so it tends to hurt on and off and when it does, I walk around in ankle support for a while.. and since it was my right foot that actually slipped, it's the injury hurting again and now I can't even go for yoga these two days..:S
So to help ease the pain, my mum brought me her infra-red lamp thingy and told me to apply some pain relief gel and use it... after leaving it on the table, she went to get the gel and somehow when she got back, I think her foot got caught around the wire and the lamp fell and broke! She was so sad about it and asked me how come everything was going wrong all of a sudden for me..:S I told her to forget it and since the lamp was a few years old, I assured her that we'll find a new and better one.. and finally with one heavy heart and a sad look on her face she managed to put the broken lamp into the bin.
Then I'm told and somehow these facts find it's way to me... that I may not have been good enough for..you know who.. and one of the reasons is that I just wasn't pretty enough.. as much as it hits me hard and turns all my internal organs upside down and make me cringe with pain... it just really hurts to an extent I can't even explain.. and then the realisation that non of the things I did and the time I spent with him was ever worth it, just makes me feel like it was a terrible cloud passing but it just doesn't seem to move away from me.
Payback I hear is a bitch.. and yes I've seen it too... and in a state of mixed emotions I'm allowed to say what I feel.. oh I so hope you find your way to where you need to be one day.
And then to CC or psychoweedkiller or who ever the fuck you're, stop giving me all these warnings through comments and stop threatening me coz I don't have anything that you want! This is my blog and no one has the right to tell me to close it or stay away from it coz I'm not doing anything wrong here other than write about my life and find some form of relief. Besides, I have way too much on my plate to deal with right now and you're not even a concern to me.
I'm done for today.
I just want these tears to stop... stop damnit stop!
This led to my ankles swelling up and so my mum actually brought me a basin of warm water with salt last night and asked me to keep both feet in for a while and then asked me to apply some gel. I was watching something on the PC at that time with my brother and when I was done with the soaking my feet thing, I picked up the basin and went to clear it when I slipped and fell and the water was all over my brother's room floor and the salt water also found it's way into the power cable on the floor and the power system at home went off!
The scary part is that I screamed when I slipped and fell and as I was getting off the floor in the dark my mum kept calling out my name in this really scary tone coz she thought I got electrocuted! It scared me that I couldn't even respond to her! and when I finally did, she was just so relieved and my brother turned the trip switches on and it was all fine.
Then today I realised that my ankle swelling has gone down but my right ankle hurts... and then figured what it was.. I've mentioned before that I've got an ankle injury.. where the ligament in my right ankle got stretched and so it tends to hurt on and off and when it does, I walk around in ankle support for a while.. and since it was my right foot that actually slipped, it's the injury hurting again and now I can't even go for yoga these two days..:S
So to help ease the pain, my mum brought me her infra-red lamp thingy and told me to apply some pain relief gel and use it... after leaving it on the table, she went to get the gel and somehow when she got back, I think her foot got caught around the wire and the lamp fell and broke! She was so sad about it and asked me how come everything was going wrong all of a sudden for me..:S I told her to forget it and since the lamp was a few years old, I assured her that we'll find a new and better one.. and finally with one heavy heart and a sad look on her face she managed to put the broken lamp into the bin.
Then I'm told and somehow these facts find it's way to me... that I may not have been good enough for..you know who.. and one of the reasons is that I just wasn't pretty enough.. as much as it hits me hard and turns all my internal organs upside down and make me cringe with pain... it just really hurts to an extent I can't even explain.. and then the realisation that non of the things I did and the time I spent with him was ever worth it, just makes me feel like it was a terrible cloud passing but it just doesn't seem to move away from me.
Payback I hear is a bitch.. and yes I've seen it too... and in a state of mixed emotions I'm allowed to say what I feel.. oh I so hope you find your way to where you need to be one day.
And then to CC or psychoweedkiller or who ever the fuck you're, stop giving me all these warnings through comments and stop threatening me coz I don't have anything that you want! This is my blog and no one has the right to tell me to close it or stay away from it coz I'm not doing anything wrong here other than write about my life and find some form of relief. Besides, I have way too much on my plate to deal with right now and you're not even a concern to me.
I'm done for today.
I just want these tears to stop... stop damnit stop!
Thursday, May 14, 2009
Should I be worried?
Last morning when I woke up, I noticed that my fingers were swollen and hurting... - Ignored it.
This morning when I woke up, I realised that my fingers and ankles were swollen and they hurt... even now, they still hurt...
Maybe I should get it checked on my way home I suppose.... I dunno...
This morning when I woke up, I realised that my fingers and ankles were swollen and they hurt... even now, they still hurt...
Maybe I should get it checked on my way home I suppose.... I dunno...
Wednesday, May 13, 2009
There she is
Sitting on the floor
Next to her bed
The lights turned off
The fan on high
Earphones plugged into her ears
To help control her thoughts
She listens to slow songs
one after another
Bottle of white wine
Placed right next to her
She stares into darkness
As she gulps it down
She's aching for hope
To show it's face
She's silently crying
For a better season in life
She's looking for strength
To walk away and move on
She thought she was moving
Until she fell down again
She gulped more wine
In the darkest hour of night
She hoped sleep would come
To be away from reality
And when she wakes up
she wants to be stronger
She will walk with pride
While hoping for better times
She's been reminded of who she really is
And deep down she knows it
And smiles a simple smile.
Next to her bed
The lights turned off
The fan on high
Earphones plugged into her ears
To help control her thoughts
She listens to slow songs
one after another
Bottle of white wine
Placed right next to her
She stares into darkness
As she gulps it down
She's aching for hope
To show it's face
She's silently crying
For a better season in life
She's looking for strength
To walk away and move on
She thought she was moving
Until she fell down again
She gulped more wine
In the darkest hour of night
She hoped sleep would come
To be away from reality
And when she wakes up
she wants to be stronger
She will walk with pride
While hoping for better times
She's been reminded of who she really is
And deep down she knows it
And smiles a simple smile.
Saturday, May 09, 2009
Recent thoughts stuck in my mind
I've been feeling so hyper-active and haven't found anything to do about it! It's weird coz I have colleagues asking me if I had a drink before coming to work coz they know I never do that!
I've been so unbelievably bored... I'm stuck running chores for the brother and mother and haven't found anything fun to do and the clock seems to be ticking louder in my ears, telling me that every second passing by is time gone...like totally gone..
I've been seeing weird dreams where I once got bitten by the same dog thrice... then later I found myself going on a long loooong trip with scenaries so beautiful that the images were stuck in my mind for a long time...
In a little while, I've to drop my mother for some preaching and prayer thing happening at BMICH and then head to my yoga class where I now twist, bend and turn in ways I never thought my bones would ever allow me to.. and my instructors are very impressed..:D
Gotta go ppl.. catch you soon...
Oh, and another thing that has been in my mind - Trust.. when lost once... it ain't easy to get it back.. and sometimes, it's most likely that it won't find it's way back either... and things they say happen for a reason eh?...
and now to find those reasons...
but then again, some reasons are better kept unknown. Yes, I believe ignorance can be bliss sometimes... and I only wish this had happened in certain instances before.. oh well..... now to move on...
where the hell are those greener pastures? those better times that are supposed to here!
I've been so unbelievably bored... I'm stuck running chores for the brother and mother and haven't found anything fun to do and the clock seems to be ticking louder in my ears, telling me that every second passing by is time gone...like totally gone..
I've been seeing weird dreams where I once got bitten by the same dog thrice... then later I found myself going on a long loooong trip with scenaries so beautiful that the images were stuck in my mind for a long time...
In a little while, I've to drop my mother for some preaching and prayer thing happening at BMICH and then head to my yoga class where I now twist, bend and turn in ways I never thought my bones would ever allow me to.. and my instructors are very impressed..:D
Gotta go ppl.. catch you soon...
Oh, and another thing that has been in my mind - Trust.. when lost once... it ain't easy to get it back.. and sometimes, it's most likely that it won't find it's way back either... and things they say happen for a reason eh?...
and now to find those reasons...
but then again, some reasons are better kept unknown. Yes, I believe ignorance can be bliss sometimes... and I only wish this had happened in certain instances before.. oh well..... now to move on...
where the hell are those greener pastures? those better times that are supposed to here!
Tuesday, May 05, 2009
Turning 25 - Part 2
This quarter life celebration has actually been good! On my b'day, a lovely set of friends turned up for dinner and one of the friends actually brought a real set of Poker in one of those neat little steel-ish brief-cases! Then he thought us how to play poker and we actually played! The game that seemed confusing and boring in the beginning became addictive and fun and we wanted to play more and more.. and this my friends, was my first time with poker and one must truly have luck to play it!
Then y-day, a school friend asked me to join her for coffee after work and I did.. a little while later a whole group of friends turned up with a cake and lovely gift and were singing 'happy b'day' all the way from the entrance and I was shocked and touched! Such a neat surprise it was and it felt awesome.. there were friends I hadn't seen for years who turned up and it truly felt nice.... I felt so loved and cared for..:) and the jewelery the guys had selected was lovely and I must say they have good taste..:)
Lost Soul was also there and it was lovely to see him after a long time...He was in school with me and we've been trying to meet up for a drink for a long time and it finally happened in a very surprising manner.. thanks so much for coming..:)
Then we left for a drink after coffee and on the way I was having a serious career related chat with a close friend and he said something that really got me thinking.. he said I was too nice to be in the industry that I'm in... and when I told him what my plans were... which is a change I hope to achieve in months to come, he was happy and said he's glad to know that... So thanks to him too..:) It's just that sometimes we know all this, but it makes a difference to hear it from someone who knows things or someone who knows you..:)
So yes, I was all chirpy and happy... and insomnia has been killing me the past few days... and so out of desperation I took a little over the recommended dose of piriton and slept like a baby.. and I'm still sleeeeeeeepy... and wish I never got to work!
Special thanks to all of you who wished me... that truly means a lot too..:)
Hugies..:)
Then y-day, a school friend asked me to join her for coffee after work and I did.. a little while later a whole group of friends turned up with a cake and lovely gift and were singing 'happy b'day' all the way from the entrance and I was shocked and touched! Such a neat surprise it was and it felt awesome.. there were friends I hadn't seen for years who turned up and it truly felt nice.... I felt so loved and cared for..:) and the jewelery the guys had selected was lovely and I must say they have good taste..:)
Lost Soul was also there and it was lovely to see him after a long time...He was in school with me and we've been trying to meet up for a drink for a long time and it finally happened in a very surprising manner.. thanks so much for coming..:)
Then we left for a drink after coffee and on the way I was having a serious career related chat with a close friend and he said something that really got me thinking.. he said I was too nice to be in the industry that I'm in... and when I told him what my plans were... which is a change I hope to achieve in months to come, he was happy and said he's glad to know that... So thanks to him too..:) It's just that sometimes we know all this, but it makes a difference to hear it from someone who knows things or someone who knows you..:)
So yes, I was all chirpy and happy... and insomnia has been killing me the past few days... and so out of desperation I took a little over the recommended dose of piriton and slept like a baby.. and I'm still sleeeeeeeepy... and wish I never got to work!
Special thanks to all of you who wished me... that truly means a lot too..:)
Hugies..:)
Sunday, May 03, 2009
Turning 25.....hitting quarter life crisis?
Yes....3rd May and I'm 25 now... Had a nice start with a lot of people calling me from midnight till 2am.. Including a bunch of guys singing Happy Birthday to me over the phone out of which I only know 2 of them..:) Sweet noh?
Just got back from my yoga class... and it was nice actually... the instructor made us of think of how special we are.. and think of our abilities.. made us think of times we were really happy... and made us laugh alot...
After we thought about our numerous capabilities, he said that we usually give rounds of applause for other people.. and it's time we respected and appreciated ourselves.. and made us all clap for ourselves..:) nice eh?
Now, I'm aware that a bunch of friends known as the Imps are storming to my place for dinner.. gotta run and prepare now...
See y'all...:)
Just got back from my yoga class... and it was nice actually... the instructor made us of think of how special we are.. and think of our abilities.. made us think of times we were really happy... and made us laugh alot...
After we thought about our numerous capabilities, he said that we usually give rounds of applause for other people.. and it's time we respected and appreciated ourselves.. and made us all clap for ourselves..:) nice eh?
Now, I'm aware that a bunch of friends known as the Imps are storming to my place for dinner.. gotta run and prepare now...
See y'all...:)
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